You Know When You’re Pregnant and Turn Psycho? Yeah.

You know when you’re pregnant and your taste buds totally change and there are really only a few things in the world that taste really good. The rest is just blah or worse, gross?

And let’s say you buy one of the things that sounds good and you think, I can’t wait until lunch so I can eat it because every breakfast food on earth sounds revolting but salad with caesar dressing sounds amaaaaazing?

And then you look through the fridge for the salad dressing. But it’s not there! And you feel your heart rate rising at the idea that maybe it’s somehow gone?! And what will you possibly do if you can’t have caesar salad for lunch?!?! WHAT is there to eat?! And who cares, it’s not caesar salad!!

So because your husband put away the food last night, and because the salad and dressing were part of that food, you call him to ask him where he put it in the fridge.

But you’re terrified that he threw it away. There were a good two servings left in that dressing packet but maybe he thought… maybe he didn’t realize, how much it meant to you. Maybe he thought… that ranch would suffice?! (Gag)

And he answers the phone and you don’t even want to ask the question because you already know the answer but you ask anyway. And when he says he threw it away… you can’t even speak to him anymore. He took away the one thing you were looking forward to all morning, the only food in the entire house that sounded appealing.

And he didn’t do it to be mean, in fact he probably thought it was a good thing since he assumed it would never get used. But you seriously need to hang up the phone or you’ll start crying. Or you’ll say something stupid about how mad you are and you know you’re being unreasonable about salad dressing because your pregnancy hormones are raging.

Then you hang up. And you put the lettuce back in the fridge. Because ranch dressing sounds like the last thing on earth you want to consume. And you cry. And you decide not to eat until dinner.

Baby Kicks

Everett is an extremely active baby. He is constantly moving around and kicking and I love it! It’s so much fun feeling those kicks all through my day! It makes me think of him constantly (as if I don’t already think about him constantly!)
Ember was my most mellow baby in the womb. She’d kick sometimes but she was just really chill most of the time. Having a baby who moves so much and so often is seriously just fun!

It hardly matters how active he’s been, however, how many jumps and kicks and punches he’s done, the second I tell Allan to come over and feel my belly Everett stops kicking and doesn’t kick again! haha! Every single time! So for now it’s just me that gets to enjoy him and I’m pretty okay with that 😉

Today I have to go try on and order a bridesmaid dress for my younger sister’s wedding. I will be 7 months pregnant. All the other bridesmaids are around 23 years old and teeny tiny. My sister is 23 and teeny tiny, too. So it’ll be a line of young, skinny girls and then me. Old, fat, and hugely pregnant! haha. It’s going to be the best experience ever! I can’t wait to see the pictures!! 😛

Alright, Saturday is going to be crazy busy (it already has been and it’s only 9:45am!) so gotta go!

Seeing Baby Boy Again, Ultrasound 3

Today was my second trimester ultrasound. I was excited to see my baby again!  photo ultrasoundprofile_zps1467b99a.jpg

Everything measured perfectly. And I got quite the view of his little boy parts! He was not a shy boy during this ultrasound! ha  photo ultrasoundwiener_zps4d6daf09.jpg

These photos look different from each other because some are scans of printed pictures and some are actually screen captures from the DVD video they gave me!  photo ultrasoundleg_zps02f2b02f.jpg

My ultrasound technician is really talented at what she does. She works in a facility where they only do ultrasounds and specialize in genetic tests. She spent lots of time checking out every little part of my baby. I was really enjoying watching her work, seeing all the organs and my baby’s limbs measuring perfectly, functioning perfectly.
She was having trouble, at first, getting a good shot of his hands because he kept sucking on them during the ultrasound. Or he’d have them nestled up under his chin or holding his head. But the glimpses we were seeing revealed what looked like webbed fingers.

The more time she spent, the additional angles, all pointed to something called syndactyly type III. That’s the “fancy” medical term for what is essentially webbed fingers. My boy’s pinky and ring fingers seem to be fused together on both hands.  photo ultrasoundhand3_zps4e36f4c0.jpg photo ultrasoundhand2_zps74d9d76f.jpg

Type III:
 photo syndactyly-master-revised-2_zps253ba7a8.gif

This information settled in my mind in a few different ways. At the very beginning it made no difference to me and really didn’t cause me much worry. I know someone whose son had syndactyly type 1 and he had surgery when he was around 18 months old and everything went perfectly fine.

The doctor came in to discuss everything and tell me that they had no reason to believe that my son had any other chromosome issues and it was likely an isolated “problem” that was a relatively easy fix after he was born. He suggested another ultrasound in 4 weeks to check up on the baby’s hands and see if they can get even better views. And then at that point I should get in touch with a pediatric surgeon. He went on giving me good information and talking about all the things that will come in the future.
The only part that wasn’t ideal was when he referred to my baby as having a birth defect.
Of course his hands do have birth defects but, without having even seen my son or his hands- I’m attached to him and everything about him is perfection to me. To hear the words birth defects hit it home that something about my son is considered “wrong” by others.

It started to hurt to think of all the sure-to-come appointments and questions and attention surrounding my baby’s hands.
And then as I drove home, despite being told otherwise, I started to wonder if I was to blame for this. Had I done something to cause this?? I thought back to the first two months of my pregnancy when his hands were forming and I’d never eaten healthier in my life. But I had a mysterious illness that caused hives all over my legs back then… could that have been it?! Could it have been because we were using spermicide when he was conceived?!? On and on I considered what grave mistake I must have made to do this to my baby.

And then came the tears. Not that my baby has something “wrong” with his hands, but the idea of surgery on him when he’s so small. He’ll have to go under general anesthesia, he’ll have painful recovery time and he’ll only be 3-6 months old! My poor baby!! I still have sadness that he’ll go through that but there’s nothing I can do but hope for the best and love him in the meantime. And I really love my baby. I feel so much movement these days and every time my heart surges. My perfect son, I really love this little boy.

Being completely ignorant about my son’s hands I, of course, googled when I got home. I also talked to my friend whose son had the same thing. She was a wealth of information 🙂
If you’re curious, here are some easy to read links that explain syndactyly. Or in layman’s terms, webbed fingers. I think they both specifically mention syndactyly type III (the type my baby has) and what it means for the baby.
Seattle Children’s
Washington University Orthopedics

I also have a few pictures of the little kids that I’ll go ahead and throw in here. When I got home from my ultrasound I showed the kids all the pictures and videos of the ultrasound. They were a bundle of excitement thinking and talking about their brother. Ember fully gets that there’s a baby coming now and talks daily about our baby boy. The kids overheard me talking to Allan about the baby’s webbed fingers and the older girls started asking about it. We explained it to them and geez, the sweetness and pure love of kids really is amazing. They saw nothing wrong with the idea of his fingers being fused together and when we explained why we’d have to have them surgically separated they were so sad for him. They’re already protective of their baby brother.  photo 006eresized_zps5dda3c87.jpg photo 017eresized_zps8f4e9be1.jpg photo 027eresized_zps527efaaf.jpg photo 029eresized_zps14ff06e4.jpg

Baby Stuff I Super Love!

I have very few baby boy items left from when Payson was a baby because we gave them away over the last few years! This meant some serious online shopping when we found out we were having another boy!

The things in this post are my old favorites and a couple of new ones!
I included links to the actual websites I bought these things at. I don’t make money off these links and I certainly don’t want anyone to click or buy anywhere they don’t research first. While I got all these items in the mail just fine I’d recommend trying to find as many items as you can through or in store to avoid any problems with online shopping.
I’m just saying that because though it all worked out for me I don’t want anyone complaining to me if something “bad” happens by purchasing through these links!!

#1 Aden and Anais Paparazzi Muslin Swaddle Blankets $49.95 at
One of my all time favorite baby items ever. Swaddling blankets. In my opinion, Aden and Anais are the best best best.
They’re crazy expensive (seriously $50 for four thin, muslin blankets?!) but I buy a pack because… they are the best best best!! I use them constantly!
 photo baby8_zps02d01852.jpg

#2 Boppy Nursing Pillow in Thimbleberry for $44.99 at
Next up, a boppy! I don’t know how I’d get through breastfeeding as well as I do without a boppy! I bought a new boppy this time around because I found out that they’d made a new version that looked so much better than the old one! This new boppy goes up higher and is more firm so baby stays in place. I’ve heard it’s great for newborns. Hopefully it’s as good as I’m hoping it to be!
 photo baby2_zps6f8e7975.jpg

#3 Modern Moby Wrap in Ballet for $47.95 at
My MUSTMUSTMUST have baby item. Besides diapers and clothes this is the only other thing that I could NOT live without during the first three months. It would be a horrible experience, for me, to go through the infant phase without a wrap. I went with Moby again since it worked so well when Payson was a newborn and because at $47.95 it’s a total steal! (I went with pink this time even though I’m having a boy because… I’m the one wearing it and I really like pink! ha)
 photo baby3_zps9e940a59.jpg

#4 Kissaluvs Fitted Cloth Diapers for $13.95 each at and
Kissaluvs Wool Diaper Cover for $30.47 each at
Cloth diapers! I’m going to try cloth diapering this baby. Hopefully he is like Sierra and Payson who benefitted from cloth. Poor Ember had bad reactions to our cloth diapers. She did fine with plain old prefolds but, it’s just been easier (and rash-less) to use disposables with her.  photo baby5_zps220a4e14.jpg

#5 Mod Swad baby swaddle gown and
Mod Swad Bamboo sleeper
I am loving the brand Mod Swad but they are pricey. I did not buy mine on Amazon! I think I bought mine for $10 cheaper than the Amazon price. But I also paid shipping so… maybe it all evens out?
I bought mine on I’m sure the brand will come back on there eventually and you can save a lot.
I’m just in love with the idea of this knotted bottom on the sleepers/swaddles. How awesome is that?! You can totally adjust the length of it and since my babies tend to be longer than average, I love that!
 photo baby6_zps2b813819.jpg

#6 Fisher Price My Little Snugabunny Cradle Swing for $139.99 at Babies “R” Us
I’d like to not rely on things like swings or bouncy chairs but truth is, they are a lifesaver! My all time favorite is this bunny swing from babies r us!
 photo baby10_zps55e0c8dc.jpg

#7 Project Life Core Kit- Baby Edition for $29.99 at and
We R Memory Keepers Classic Leather 12 by 12 Binder
One of the first things I buy when I find out I’m pregnant is a baby book. I go with gender neutral so I can start filling it out during the first half of my pregnancy. If I wait to record pregnancy stuff, I forget; I have such a crap memory!
This pregnancy I splurged and went with Becky Higgin’s project life baby edition instead of a regular baby book. I’m excited to try this out. Go to her blog for more info, I’m too lazy to explain more 😉
 photo baby12_zpsd410773d.jpg

#8 Shea Moisture Body Wash and
Johnson’s Vanilla Oatmeal Baby Wash
Baby soap is a must! My favorite is the shea moisture one. If I can’t get it at the stores nearby (which happens often) I’ll go with the Johnson’s and Johnson’s Vanilla Oatmeal baby wash. I like the smell of both of those and I’m sorta picky about how my babies smell! hee (My other kids and I use these soaps, too!!)
 photo baby11_zpsb0350967.jpg

#9 Wubbanub Giraffe for $13.05 at
This item I heard about on another blog and had to get one! Ember never took a binky (nor did Brooklyn) and I have to say, as much as some people hate binkies, I am a BIG fan of having another way to soothe baby than my boobies!! This little toy seems like it would make it easier to find the binky and keep the binky in baby’s mouth!  photo baby9_zps4930f996.jpg

#10 State Shaped Wooden Teether for $12 at LittleSaplingToys on and
Natural Wooden Baby Toy Set for $19.50 at QualityMontessori on
Speaking of toys, these next two are wooden toys/teethers I bought on etsy. I love the idea of being able to support American made products 🙂
 photo baby4_zpsd57bc900.jpg photo baby1_zps43b9f7d3.jpg

#11 Purple Original Ergo Carrier for $115 at
The last item is my ergo. Once baby gets to be about three months old, I love the ease of the ergo! I wore Ember in hers up until she was two. She still fits in it but that girl wants to walk everywhere and would be pretty annoyed with me trying it now!
 photo baby7_zps81cceef6.jpg

Bonus, #12 (no picture)
Medela Pump in Style Advanced Breast Pump for $269.99 at Target
I didn’t grab a picture of my breast pump but I’ve used that thing more than I ever imagined I would! It has really saved me so much pain and grief during the several mastitis infections I had and a million other times when I was just plain old engorged and in pain and needed relief! (Like when baby is sick with a stuffy nose and doesn’t drink as much as normal!)

Man do I feel like one spoiled mama after looking through that list. I’m so thankful to have a variety of things to make life with an infant slightly easier. My babies tend to be very difficult so… I love any products that help with that!

Now that I listed all my favorite baby stuff I figured I’d switch gears to baby names!
I’ve been asked a few times about baby names Allan and I are thinking about. Since we’re having a boy we’ve only been discussing boy names lately. Before we found out the gender we’d already picked a girl name. We would’ve named a girl Lyla.
BOY names are crazy difficult for me! I don’t love anything except the name Everett (my favefavefave boy name) but we used it for Payson’s middle name! I’m bummed about that because we’d for sure name our new son that! I was even born in Everett, Washington and it’s been the only boy name I’ve felt connected to and loved my whole life. haha

So anyway, I will list the girl names I love along with the boy names we’re considering. Our boy names aren’t too unique or anything. (Well, a few of the ones Allan loves are a bit out there)

So, girl names we liked!
Lyla (Allan prefers the spelling Lilah)
Adelaide (loved this when pregnant with Ember, too!)
Lilian (Lily)
Ashlyn or Lakelyn (I can’t help it, we like names ending in lyn!)

Boy names we’re considering:
(I’m proud of myself from refraining to mention which names are on the list because I like them and which are on the list because Allan likes them. ha)
Everett (I can’t help but keep trying to convince Allan to use this name anyway! I’ve heard of kids sharing middle names)

Names we had on our maybe list at one point or another but are crossed off because one or the other of us hates them:
Everson (only because we love Everett and thought maybe it would measure up, but it doesn’t. ha)
Jacob (we both love it but it’s crazy common these days)

5 Months Along

 photo 009cesb2resized_zpsfe30962b.jpg

I haven’t done very well at documenting my pregnancy this time around.
When I found out I was pregnant (which was a huge shock, btw) I decided to do better at that and here I am five months in and have a small handful of really crappy (mostly iPod) belly pictures and nothing written down about anything to do with this pregnancy. Besides being super sick. I have that documented enough! haha. But in my complaining defense, this pregnancy has been my worst by far.
The second trimester has been really nice, though! I like the second trimester 🙂  photo 016ceresized_zpsc3166496.jpg
A few little things about my pregnancy lately:
-I still crave meat. Meat, meat, meat, and more meat. I also love berries and salad!
-Round ligament pain started up this week.
-My sciatic nerve is acting up and my hip pops. It’s fun being old!
-My pelvic bone hurts like crazy, feels like my vagina is breaking.
-Acne! My least favorite thing about this pregnancy!
-I gained five pounds in the last month. I should probably lose five pounds instead :S
-Allergies. I’ve never had allergies but I have pretty severe allergies right now.
-Can not get comfortable while sleeping; this is not helped by Ember crawling into my bed at 3am and wanting to breastfeed.
-My red blood cell situation is poor.
-Lots of baby movement! 🙂

So when I asked Allan to snap a couple of pictures of me (it never stops being awkward for me to ask for pictures of myself, which is why I pretty much never do it!) and he said he would, I had him and the kids help me decide where in the ugly desert I wanted to take the pictures. We settled on our front yard because it was shaded at that moment and looked less bleached and dead than everywhere else. And I got some cute pictures of them in the process 🙂
 photo 004eresized_zps7c8e944b.jpg photo 008eresized_zps5c2c6e00.jpg photo 017eresized_zps2ae3f592.jpg photo 029eresized_zps46f38507.jpg

My Baby Has a Wiener!

So I had another ultrasound last week and it was confirmed that our baby is a boy!  photo BABYBOY_7eresized_zpsf89e9834.jpg

I actually went to an ultrasound place in Phoenix and it took me an hour to get there! It was scorching hot when I got in the car.  photo 095eresized_zps8906231e.jpg

When the ultrasound technician (is that what they’re called??) went in search of my baby’s private parts she settled on a great view and froze the screen to take a picture. She typed out, “It’s a Girl!” and oh was that a shock! I wouldn’t just believe it (especially having seen an earlier ultrasound which fairly clearly showed a boy) but there, clear as day, were three parallel lines right where the peepee goes! Those are the tell tale girl signs, you shouldn’t go by just the lack of boy parts 😉

So I’m laying there in total shock and start crying. I’m like, I can’t believe I’m crying, I’m just so shocked because at an earlier ultrasound they were pretty sure it was a boy! And I didn’t want to say so on my blog but I was hoping for a girl. I just really, really love having girls! I adore Payson and his relationship with me is totally different (dare I say, better?) than with my girls, but I just looove girly stuff! haha

The ultrasound technician hears about this earlier ultrasound with a view of what had seemed like a penis and decides, hmm, maybe I’ll spend another fifteen minutes checking a thousand other views to make sure. I turn over from side to side, on my back, back to my side, back to my back. She takes another ten pictures. After a while the umbilical cord, which had been wrapped all around my baby’s legs, moves. And there is revealed, my baby’s penis!

The room is super quiet until the ultrasound tech says, “I’m so sorry I told you girl. There is his…”

She can’t say penis, I guess. Or wiener? She doesn’t the entire ultrasound but from several views points out “his…”

I’m experiencing major shock and confusion and huge emotional mood swings but since I thought it was a boy for the last month it’s easy to readjust back to that. I call Allan from the car to tell him that indeed, our baby is a boy. Sierra and Ember were with me. Sierra says she’s bummed because she wanted a girl. Ember, no matter how I try to tell her what’s going on, has exactly zero clue that there’s a baby joining our family this year. lol

I go home and tell Payson that we found out for sure he gets a brother! I’ve never seen him so excited in his life and I’m genuinely happy to be giving him something he’s wanted and begged for for the last few years. He talks nonstop about his brother. He hugs me every day (of course he’s always hugged me lots) but now makes sure to tell me, “Mom, I’m not hugging you right now, I’m hugging my brother.”

I spend two hours online the next day buying everything I need for baby #5. It’s a nice feeling to be ready for him this early in the pregnancy! haha

So that’s the story of finding out we’re having another son. As much as I wouldn’t mind having ten daughters, I am really excited for a boy. I’ve never had one tiny speck of doubt that I’ll adore/love/worship my baby (haha, I get so involved with my babies that my entire life revolves around them!) no matter what gender, but the longer I go knowing it’s a boy the more things that are better about having sons start to come to mind. I’d share specifics but, I’m sure I’ll get nasty comments about the generalizations I’m making 😉

I’ll end this post with a couple more pictures of my baby’s privates. Because isn’t that exciting? No, not really, but I did want to share the image of what we thought were girl parts! (This wasn’t the good view of the three parallel lines but the only picture the woman included on my CD)  photo BABYBOY_5resized_zpsd957d26f.jpg

This was another angle with what looks like a wiener.  photo BABYBOY_13resized_zps08db0677.jpg

This next one was the first glimpse we got after the umbilical cord finally moved.  photo BABYBOY_6resized_zps0995c1e0.jpg

And here was the “winner” shot we got at the end and was at the beginning of this post!  photo BABYBOY_7eresized_zpsf89e9834.jpg

Payson Cut His Hair

I noticed Payson’s hair looked funky one afternoon while we were at the store. I looked a little more closely and discovered quite a few chunks of hair missing. I was surprised and asked him if he cut his hair. He happily responded, “Yeah, I got a haircut!”  photo 006eresized_zps5923bdc3.jpg

I sure was bummed. The chunks he cut were to his scalp and I didn’t want to buzz his head.  photo 011eresized_zps361c23e1.jpg

I cut it short but not too short. If you looked closely you could still see dents and grooves on the top of his head but I figured that was better than shaving it closely.
After his haircut he asked if we could go outside to photograph it.  photo 019eresized_zps8dc5a1e7.jpg

It was a beautiful day out so we brought toys so that we could play out there, too. (These pictures were taken weeks ago)  photo 027eresized_zps04aa03a5.jpg photo 039eresized_zps7523dfdf.jpg

I later found a chunk of hair cut out from the very front of Ember’s hair, too. It’s so hard to grow out her bangs so I was totally bummed about that. I couldn’t get a straight answer out of Payson so I’m not sure if it was he or Ember who did the cutting. It doesn’t really matter, I suppose. I did have a long talk with him about only moms and dads cutting hair and how scissors are only for paper and only when mom is in the room and gave them to you! (he’d climbed our tall bookshelf, after breaking down the baby gate to that room, to get the scissors from the top shelf)  photo 045eresized_zps3b2deb4e.jpg photo 047eresized_zpsa4d392dc.jpg

Several months ago Payson started hanging on my legs as I walked. Like, wrapping his arms and legs around my leg and clinging on for dear life. I really, really hate when kids do that. Ember saw that and thought it looked like the greatest thing ever and does it all the time now, too. It really annoys the crap out of me. They both also LOVE to pull on my dresses or skirts or pants when we’re out. I tell them not to but it still happens. We’ll be out and suddenly my skirt is inches away from exposing my undies. Haaaate it.  photo 050eresized_zps6f1a39d9.jpg

This was before the scorpions and rattlesnakes came back, we used to take daily walks in the desert.  photo 070eresized_zps5b82eec9.jpg

If you ever see a picture of my kids pretending to breastfeed their babies, that’s all their doing. I don’t ever tell them to but I’m glad they do because it’s adorable.  photo 088eresized_zps2797ece7.jpg photo 096eresized_zps6291610c.jpg photo 124eresized_zps3f47b5fc.jpg photo 126eresized_zps39d44b97.jpg

Lastly, I had originally planned on writing about the kids’ reactions to us telling them about the new baby but I don’t have enough brain power to do it justice. Instead I sat them down and asked them to share what they felt about having a new sister or brother.

Pouty Face

Pregnancy is no fun at all. At least the first 4 months aren’t. At all. In fact, I decided I hate them and want them to end. Can time please go by faster because the last week has felt like a year.
I haven’t felt like touching my camera at all. I haven’t felt like doing anything besides laying on my couch in my misery. I feel sorry for my poor family dealing with me when I’m pregnant, I pretty much suck.

Last week, or two weeks ago I guess, Allan didn’t shave for like 10 days. He had some major scruff going on. When the day came that he wanted to shave he first gave himself a goatee and then a mustache before shaving smooth. It was weird and creepy. lol
I decided this was picture worthy and took some pictures of the progress. I haven’t asked him if I can share them online so I won’t, but, while my camera was out Ember came running over begging for pictures. I guess with my being sick and a camera not being in her face every day she’s going through withdrawals. lol. Not really but the girl does love having her picture taken.

It also just so happens that that was the day she’d fallen into a wall while running and playing with the other kids and beat up her nose pretty well. It was swollen and red and freaked me the heck out. I iced it and then fifteen minutes later kept touching it with increasing pressure (nothing too firm, though!) to see if she would cry or wince, trying to make sure it wasn’t broken.
In the end she was totally fine. And the swelling and redness was gone by the next morning. So, that’s why my poor baby looks like a clown in these pictures.  photo 099eresized_zpsbe666165.jpg photo 109eresized_zps19dc43fc.jpg