Lyla Would Love it If She Was Included

Lyla does not enjoy being the only kid not going to school. She watches her older siblings like a hawk and any time they do anything, she wants to do it. She wants to pick out clothes and get dressed up and do her hair in the mornings before school. She wants to bring a backpack every time we leave. “I’m not a baby, I’m a big girl!” she tells me often. So as much as possible we include her in things.

The only problem is when we get to school and she watches the older kids walk down the hall off to their classes she gets upset when she has to go back to the car. “But I have to go to Lyla’s school. I have my backpack! Bye mom! Hug, hug, kiss, kiss!” AF9I8409efbblogAF9I8420efbblogAF9I8424efbblogAF9I8427efbblog

Playing With My Hair

After becoming very attached to very long, dark hair on myself… 9 years of nothing but long, brunette (my natural color, obviously) hair… I decided to make a change. It was a long process since I did it myself.

First I thought… just highlights.AF9I8192efbblogAF9I8186efbblog

My plan was to have highlights and then color them purple…AF9I8218efbblogAF9I8286efbblog

Which was not my favorite at all!AF9I8329efbblogAF9I8353efbblogAF9I8348efbblog

So then I added more bleach to my life.AF9I8217efbblog

Which turned my hair yellow. No problem, I thought, I love purple so let’s add a little purple and see what happens.AF9I8215efbblog

Well, this happened.AF9I8437efbblogAF9I8441efbblogAF9I8458efbblogAF9I8459efbblog

And that wasn’t the worst but it wasn’t what I wanted. The underside of my hair hadn’t take the bleach well and the ends being dark annoyed me so back to bleach I went!201910234842732033972419300

And that was much better but not quite light enough to play with color so for the 4th time I bleached it! (This is over the course of two or three months, not back to back)

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Now my hair was light enough to try what I really had been wanting to do: dye it pink!

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The pink was too bright at first and started to fade right away. But I liked it that way:

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The color above was one of my favorites but it washed right out in three washes. So then I turned to adding chalk color to the blonde. I loved that:

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And felt really happy with the color in general. I loved having lighter hair. The problem was roots!

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I lost inches of my hair from breakage and I had to cut off many more inches just because my ends looked so fried. I lost 10 inches at least total from my hair from bleach. I didn’t want to keep lightening my roots and risking losing more length so sadly, literally with much grief, I realized I needed to start going darker to do something to camouflage the dark roots. I didn’t want to go back to brown yet so I figure I’ll play with some dark, bold colors first. I went with purple for the first darker color.

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Woah was that an adjustment!!! I was shocked when applying the dye and shocked after. I missed my lighter hair and even cried!

Weirdly I got the very most compliments from men with the purple hair! It started to fade quickly, too. Here it is after one wash.

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It’s more magenta than purple now. I don’t love my hair currently but getting compliments literally every time I go out is really helpful. I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do next. I am leaning toward a pale gray-blue. What you’d call “icy” blue. But I’m not sure! I have been dying Brooklyn’s hair blue for months and have found that blue is the most staining color of all. It doesn’t seem to ever come out! That makes me really opposed to trying it since I like to change up the color now every couple months and really don’t want to have blue hair for more than a few weeks. So maybe blue is out? Then what is there? I don’t know… I’m just typing to myself really. haha

Here are the videos I’ve posted on my youtube channel:

And here is where I dyed Brooklyn’s hair.

And I’ll add the one where I dyed my hair purple as soon as I upload it.

Curriculum Day!

I got Ember and Everett’s curriculum from the school today and then went home and went through all our home school books to make piles to use this year.

Honestly I’m not feeling it a bit. I’ve been dreading school starting back up. I despise the public school curriculum, despise being chained by it and it’s killed every last bit of love for teaching I had. I am going to put Ember in regular public school next year and I’ll still home school Everett but that’s it. I hate this.

LOVE my kiddos and will try my best but it’s just nothing that fits in with my personality or strengths. I really miss homeschooling where it was really homeschooling and not teaching my kids with public school books 🙁

You might ask why we go this route and simply: we live in a state where I’m not allowed to home school freely but there are other benefits to living here. So yes this schooling part of it is very sad but I’ve gained something else. There are costs to every choice we make and homeschooling was the cost I paid for our location. I’m thankful to live where I live and I’m sad to not be able to home school how I want to home school… there are room for mixed emotions in life.AF9I7284e3blogshareAF9I7292efbblogshare

When my blog becomes a wasteland. Where words don’t live.

She writes the grossest words. They fill her pages. She can’t stop. Her fingers are tireless. Her emotions are tireless. She is tired. She is dying.

She can’t share it with anyone. She can’t tell them. She can’t unload all of the vilest things she’s seen and heard because of it.

She is tired.

She hears a voice. From a three year old without the grossest words plaguing her mind. The three year old is singing. It is the sweetest sound.

She’s pulled from her mental walk down a dark path and gets up to stir their dinner.

But she won’t forget that the words on her lips were very bad and not to be shared.