February Blues


We’re surviving alright but February was the dreariest month for me. It took a lot of willpower and memories of the spring and calendar checking to cope with the seemingly-endless snow, the gray skies and gray clouds and gray streets and gray everything, and the cold… the bitter cold. Early mornings dragging six grumpy children into the frigid winter air to drive the big kids to school. A few hours later picking Sierra up (she has half days), a few hours later picking Brooklyn up. In and out of the apartment, in and out through the cold, driving on icy streets, waiting in snowy lines, watching nothing but gray. It was tedious. I’m sure it was made worse by needing to adjust to being divorced, but maybe not. Maybe this longer-than-average winter affected everyone as badly as it did me?

There wasn’t pure grief and dislike throughout the winter, there was just a lot of it.

These pictures are taken right before bed one night. Lyla still cosleeps and breastfeeds. She will not go to sleep without breastfeeding and she is a super light sleeper and if she stirs in her sleep at all she reaches for me, crying, with both arms until she finds me and curls into me. This means I have no alone time at night at all. But it also means Lyla is a very cuddled and happy toddler always knowing mom is within arm’s reach.


There’s this little Goodwill drop off fairly near my place and I used it so much this last year. Bags and bags of stuff given away, trying desperately to fit better in the small space we have. Still feeling so cramped. I’m still often looking around and through shelves and wondering: can anything more go?

Payson with a couple toys he brought along on errands.

Everett just being super cute in the backseat.

What groceries for seven for a week looks like. Can you believe I carried all these upstairs? Haha

Lyla’s favorite purchase:

Making blueberry muffins together.

Because we won’t live here next year I made sure to snap some pictures of my kids playing outside so they can remember what apartment life was like for them.

Lyla loves gathering our reusable shopping bags and carrying them around the apartment like she’s coming home from errands.

This was one morning bright and early before school. We had just arrived home after dropping Brooklyn and Sierra off at school and I snapped this before making breakfast for the rest of us.

Lyla fell asleep that day on the way to pick up Sierra from school and I had to pee when we got home so I asked Payson to hold sleeping Lyla for just a sec so I could go and they were so cute together I snapped this before taking her back 🙂

Another day another nap taken in the car and finished at home in my arms. It’s the only way she naps.

One morning brushing tangles out of her hair.

Lyla LOVES toys. Any toys. But also especially ones that belong to her siblings.

Her reaction to Bopit!

That’s her laughing face over hitting my camera. haha

Falling asleep in the van. Every single day.

We went to Hobby Lobby to get air dry clay for the kids to do some sculpting.

Lyla had fun pushing (and hanging on) the cart.

She saw Everett in there and insisted on joining him. They look super adorable but she spent the rest of the time yelling at him to move and get out!

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