Grief

Grief

You criminal.
You thief.
I sit in my peace
enveloped in happiness
motivation flowing
through my veins

Without warning
you are here
invading everywhere
my breath catches,
my lungs full of you
my chest aches
my eyes water my cheeks
I slump.

The longing you
discard into my heart
leaving it there to burn
the burning pain
now all I experience
all I’m aware of.

Oh how I hate you,
grief.
How I despise you.

I frantically try
to cast you out
my mind is whirling-
trying to find the
place you entered me.

I’m furious!
How could you do this to me?
How could you come in
and take away my happiness?
Why won’t you leave?

And the knowing of my
powerlessness over you
settles in.
I give up.
You win.
You took those minutes,
hours.
Of my life.

I’m lost in them.
I’m lost.

So I write to you from
the fog.
Knowing you’ll never listen.
But writing anyway.

Fine, grief, keep taking.
Take and take from me.
But I’ll take from you, too!

I will take the lessons
from your presence
I’ll never trust again,
I’ll never love again.
I’ll wrap myself up in
self hatred and solitude
and though loneliness
hurts too,

NOTHING hurts as much
as you do!

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