Too Much

I’m so stressed right now I honest to goodness feel like I could cry! I can’t do a move right now but we HAVE to. I just can’t get anything done besides the already INSANE task load of just raising my five kids. Seriously I can’t. I can’t do ANYTHING extra. I can BARELY handle the workload of every day life 🙁

I held Everett all day today. I finally got him to sleep at 6pm! and immediately started sprinting around cleaning. JUST cleaning… nothing to do with moving, just normal life stuff I HAVE to do (laundry, dishes, sweeping, etc) and Brooke comes in and says Payson peed all over their toilet and floor. So I drop what I’m doing to get him set up to clean his mess. I get back in the kitchen after that to clean the counters (nothing relating to moving yet!) and I hear what sounds like water being poured on the floor.

It’s Ember, standing over a giant floor puzzle, peeing her pants. Soaking herself, the floor, and the puzzle.

I’m pissed at this for a number of reasons (duh) but mostly because I told Payson no more than ten minutes before to put that FREAKING puzzle away!! I packed the puzzles because Payson would take at least two (more like three or four) out at once and dump them all out to put them together. It was driving me NUTS!! So today I walked in and saw the puzzles (three!) out of the box and dumped on the floor and him working on them and freaked out and told him sternly to put them in the freaking box and don’t touch them again! So of course he did and then took back out the giant floor puzzle!!!

So I take Ember into my bathroom (which is connected to my bedroom with an opening so you can clearly hear from my bedroom (where Everett is sleeping in his bed) everything going on in the bathroom. I tell Ember each and every time we go in there to be quiet because you’ll wake up Everett but she literally never stops talking or making noise for ONE second the entire time we’re in there. I started shushing her constantly, like literally constantly, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *breath* sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *breath* sssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh because it was the only way she’d stop talking. The second I stop shushing she’s talking. The second. The SECOND. The second she starts talking I whisper angrily, “STOP IT! Stop talking!!”

So I bring her in my bath (the kids’ bath is broken) and she starts talking and I whisper, “Be quiet!” and she starts talking again. And I whsiper angrily, “BE.QUIET!” and she starts making baby talking noises (like she’s a baby) and I shush her. I shush and shush and shush… sssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Then I stand up from washing the pee off her and grab the towel from the towel rack. The second I do she’s loudly talking to me. And Everett starts crying.

F. My. Life.

OH MY GOSH. As I was finishing typing this a neighbor just knocked on my back sliding glass door. By the way I was breastfeeding and am in pj shorts and a super immodest tank top. So I am like CRAP I can’t even avoid this encounter because he can see me from the door. So I open the door while looking SO AWFUL and awkward and he’s like, I just thought you should know your daughter is out here walking around loudly calling everyone she sees a butthole.

I’m like… speechless. And so furious I could punch her. She’s had issues with social stuff, and well everything, literally her entire life. She’s a horrible person. She just IS. I try to be nice about her and to her and just ignore what I can and be firm on what matters (like calling strangers buttholes!) but gah… she’s impossible. It was SO much worse when she was little. We’d be in stores in Texas when she was 3 and 4 and she’d loudly talk about people she’d see, while pointing. HORRIBLE things like, “EWWWW, mom, why is that lady SO FAT?!” Or, “MOM!! That girl is so ugly. She’s so gross!! EWWWW, MOM, SHE’S SO UGLY!!”
The last one was about a black women (who was actually gorgeous, btw) and when I asked why she’d say that she said, “Because she has gross brown stuff all over her face!” Or she’d comment on back people’s hair…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I just found this post in my drafts folder. haha!! I remember this day! I never posted it because it was pretty intense but now I figure I might as well. I love remembering this stuff. I remember vividly how horrible it was to try to do anything in my master bathroom but Everett waking up at the littlest sounds every single time and how Ember would make noise constantly no matter what I did! Now we have working bathrooms in other parts of our house AND Ember stays quiet for a few minutes if I tell her to. I won’t ever miss that phase!

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