I get so behind on blogging! Ugh. I am such a perfectionist that if I can’t sit down and blog all the pictures I have backed up I just can’t blog. I can’t do little posts with one or two photos and words… I have to put all the photos in the post and since I just don’t have time to do that very often, I don’t blog. I hate that quirk of mine!

But, I have so so so many things that go unwritten that I want to remember and so I’m going to try really hard to just blog things I want to write down and to heck with the photos being in the right order or whatever.

Tonight Ember brought me a pile of library books around 11pm. I was super tired and had just sent all my kids to bed and wanted to watch something on TV or read or something fun for me. But I haven’t had much (any?!) one on one time with her in the last couple months so I took the opportunity to cuddle with her and read her books. I was interested in if her books would be good because she picked them all out all by herself. It was just about the cutest thing in the entire world watching her at the library. Literally there are no words, it was just the cutest freaking thing.

So I start reading her books and she’s enthralled. And one adorable thing about Ember is that when she’s watching TV or a movie or listening to a song or book she likes she SMILES during the whole thing. This completely sweet and precious smile of enjoyment and it just melts my heart so much. Too much! I can hardly handle how cute she is!

So she’s sitting on my lap smiling as we read through books and giggling, too. At certain parts she cracks up laughing and gah, it is just the cutest! I swear I need to remember to video tape it tomorrow when I read her the books again because I have GOT to capture her preciousness on film! I’ve already read five of her books like three times each. haha. Luckily re-reading books to little kids doesn’t bother me.

So I finally tell Ember we need to go to bed for the night because it’s so late and she happily runs off to bed. As I’m walking to her room to kiss and hug her goodnight I spy Payson walking through my kitchen in only his underwear (our A/C is broken during the hottest week of the year so far, yay) with a handful of sopping wet paper towels. He spots me and says quickly, “It’s okay mom, I’m just cleaning up a mess.”

“What mess?” I ask and he tells me he spilled water. How? I ask and he tells me his water bottle leaked on the floor. So I tell him that he needs dry paper towels to clean up water, not wet ones. Meanwhile there’s now a path of water through my kitchen from his dripping (more like pouring) paper towels.

Earlier today we went to a second hand shop for kids’ stuff. My girls were very desirous of beanie babies there. I let them each get a couple and Sierra had picked out this horrifyingly ugly stuff easter bunny. Normally I let my kids get whatever toys they want but I actually told her I wasn’t buying that one! It was one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen and I just couldn’t stomach seeing it more than that one time there in the store! haha. I just didn’t want that in my life! Is that horrible? I don’t feel like it’s horrible. haha!

Everett does this thing lately when he gets excited or scared or startled or just happy… his eyes get as huge as they get (which really isn’t that huge, lol) and his lips make an open O shape as he stares at whatever it is that got his attention and he kicks his feet and waves his arms like crazy. It’s hilarious. I put a little clip of the tail end of one such times on instagram. He’s such a goofy baby.

Allan’s in Nevada and gets home tomorrow night late. Then he leaves again the following morning before I get up. He’s going to be gone all of the next three weeks minus like two days I think. I’m preeeeeeeeeeetty bummed about it. I actually cried in the driveway after I kissed him goodbye and he drove off. I don’t think I’ve ever cried when he’s left me but I’m in a pretty bad state these days.

And yet stronger than I ever have been. But loaded up with so much more work and responsibility. The sleep deprivation is killing me these days. I’ve never had enough sleep so it puzzles me why the last two weeks of getting 4, maybe 5, hours of sleep is impacting my body so negatively this time. Maybe the heat (my house is 85 degrees all day) doesn’t help? haha

So gosh I could talk forever but maybe I should stop?

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