Well, Haven’t I Failed?

Hi guys! How is it Friday already? And yet, hasn’t this been the longest week ever?

How was your guys’ week? Did any of you blog this week? Would you like to share your blog with me in the comments?
I’ve made a few new online friends this week and it’s been nice. Having a relationship that you can tap into when you have time is an awesome thing. I remember back in 2006 it’s what made me fall in love with blogging. I can’t make phone calls (almost ever) because of the insanity that results from my children, so email and text are the best things I can add to my life for interaction.

Any other moms have kids who react to the ringing of your phone as if a bomb just went off and entirely changed their world? My kids will hear the phone and something in their brains explodes and suddenly they’re running around my house wanting to destroy everything they can, screaming, hollering, ripping off clothes, crawling on the ground, climbing the walls…
Not really that extreme I guess, but they get way more crazy than they usually are and ruin any chance I could have at a reasonable conversation with anyone.

Email, or even better- text, means I can type a short message any time I get a few seconds and the person on the other side of that conversation doesn’t hear a single thing.

Changing subjects back to my original purpose of blogging today, I made a goal to blog every day of the rest of April and obviously I’ve failed that one! But one failure somewhere means succeeding somewhere else, right? I failed at blogging but have been succeeding at life. Being a mom takes up every ounce of my energy sometimes. Raising five kids is so much more work than anyone could imagine until they have that fifth! I’m sure moms of five reading are nodding their heads.

Or they’re not, they’re like… five kids was easy. I had so much help, the older ones were mostly self sufficient, my last baby was easy, blah blah.

My oldest kids aren’t even a little bit helpful, my baby is super fussy (he was so happy for a few weeks but this week he’s a crankpot) and my 5 and 3 year old are super demanding. Not bad, just needy.
In my past life, in Arizona, this would put me over the edge and I’d be depressed and overwhelmed and want to vent all the time.

For some reason this year I’m totally sane. I don’t know if it’s a shift in my hormones (a few other things about me are way different this year, too!) or if it is that we finally moved away from somewhere that was bringing me down. Whichever it was, I’m thankful that I feel sane. That I don’t have to deal with my hormones adding to my bad mood.

So, with all the chaos that’s been a part of our life in 2014 I’ve been trying my best to make our life as normal, and also fun, as possible.

Not, let’s-go-out-to-the-movies fun, but let’s-be-happy-while-doing-the-normal-stuff we do fun. For example, I have to actively try not to feel more stressed when my kids “help” me. I know you guys know I let them help a lot and that I like to fill their days with good things. And I mostly really enjoy that.
What I don’t enjoy is every-day tasks that are annoying for me to do to end up taking ten times longer while kids are helping. I let them make desserts with me and it’s pure chaos. I have to basically tell myself ahead of time (it’s a very conscious decision) to let go of anything that happens during the next 30 ish minutes. Spills, fighting, and adding the wrong ingredient at the wrong time are the biggest ones and I make myself be the cheerful one to calm the atmosphere in our kitchen to keep that fun activity fun.

With blogging lately I’ve been thinking a lot about keeping it real. I’ve always kept my life pretty darn real. I don’t sugar coat how I’m feeling generally. In the past, during the hardest times in my life, my blog could get negative. Most people reading were really supportive. There were some (even a couple of my family members) who wouldn’t be supportive. I had one person in my family tell Allan that he should check out what I’m blogging. And, maybe have a talk with me? Or something like that.

Let me just say, that hurt my feelings so badly! This was during the absolute hardest part of my entire life and I vented about it (it was while we were living in the hotel) and I still am hurt by it. I think it’s crucial for moms to share their struggles. What we don’t need more of in this world is tearing each other apart for our feelings. If someone’s struggling, how is it helpful to tell them to not talk about it? A mom sitting in a hotel room in the dead of winter with five crazy kids, struggling with her current life- shouldn’t talk about that? Should talk about it more politely? Should gloss over her real feelings in order to not share such personal things?

I really don’t know the intent behind these certain family member’s comments but I’m the type that will blog every single thing in my head, good or bad, inappropriate or not. Or I won’t blog at all. And these same family members like reading my blog and keeping up with my and Allan’s life and our kids’ lives and if you want that… then you’re going to have to be exposed to all of it. And sometimes that includes me talking about a bad day! haha

I have changed things about the way I blog over the years. For example, I rarely blog about my older girls anymore. I’ll share things they want me to (they ask me to blog about them sometimes) but besides that, I keep their lives off the internet because their lives are starting to be… their lives. When kids are little they’re all mostly similar. Some are whinier, some are brattier, some are more hyper, some are more shy… but all little kids do the same things. They read books, they play with toys, they poop in diapers, they color… there’s no special story of a kid under the age of 3 going about their life and it being super unique. haha

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