Allan’s been working late. That’s not new but it is stressful these days. Bedtime is pretty brutal with five kids.
Everett is having nursing problems. I’m not sure what exactly is going on but it’s kinda traumatic for me. lol
I have an appointment with a lactation consultant tomorrow morning. I’m not looking forward to a “boob” appointment but I am looking forward to some help, advice, and guidance. Everett is only 4 ounces above his birth weight at 4 weeks old. He did gain 9 ounces in the last two weeks so things aren’t like, horribly bad, but he should’ve gained about 14 ounces (one ounce per day) so… he’s not gaining enough.
My blog-friend Amber pointed out it could be due to his lip tie. I’ll ask about that when I see the lactation consultant. Hopefully this all works out because the idea of using bottles makes me cry a lot.
So not last night but the night before, Everett was super cranky. Around 4am I gave up sleeping in my bed and took him to the recliner. He always nurses better when I’m sitting upright holding him in the football hold and compressing my breast while he drinks. Ember, who is still a poor sleeper, woke up, as she does every night, right around then and joined me on the recliner. She’s going through major breastfeeding “withdrawals” and asks to nurse and I have to say no. Mostly because it’s too difficult to nurse her and then have to go wash my boobs (she’s healthy but I still worry) and that requires putting Everett down which makes him cry. So she will pout and put her hand down the top of my shirt and rest it on the top of my boob. It makes me really, really sad. I hate breastfeeding her because it feels awful (must be her teeth?) but at the same time, I have a LOT of guilt for taking away her baby status in the family.
Allan thinks we should be more firm with her and “make” her go to bed in her own room, in her own bed. I tell him I think this transition has been so difficult on her enough that I can’t even imagine forcing her to sleep on her own after three years of sleeping with us. Can you imagine? I know I’m overly attachment parenting to my little kids but it seems straight up mean to teach her to sleep on her own while she’s dealing with a brand new brother and feeling replaced.
So because Allan is dead set on never sharing a bed with Ember again because he thinks three years was plenty, I sleep with her in her bed in her room and it sucks. That bed isn’t big enough for three when one (Ember) likes to sprawl out. haha
I finally got Everett to sleep out of my arms for a few minutes. Any time I manage that I sprint around my house cleaning or cooking, trying to catch up on everything. I can’t imagine ever, ever catching up on anything again. Allan sometimes talks to me about packing and the upcoming move (in 12 days!) and all the things we have to do to get ready and I just sit there thinking, “I literally can’t do anything besides keep these kids fed and clothed.”
Sometimes he asks if I can go to a store to do a “quick” errand and I just say, “No.” because honestly, I can’t. Everett hates being out and I can’t nurse him well outside of my home. I told Allan, the max I can do now is one store/errand at a time. I’m burnt out on errands with a newborn along.
Today I have to go to Babies R Us and Sprouts and it’s causing me to stress out! Babies R Us for a nipple shield and some sleepers (baby boy is getting longer every day! haha) and Sprouts for fenugreek. I wish I could just have this crap shipped to my house but I need that stuff today. *sigh*