I’ve fully reached that holy-crap-I’m-done phase of pregnancy. I feel positive and not as achy or quite as miserable as I was in all my other pregnancies but I’d still really like to be done now.
It’s just that, I have four kids to take care of all by myself every day and I’m really. Done. With that.
Allan’s worked late, past the kids’ bedtimes, for weeks now. Months now? Forever? He got home last night at 11:30pm when I was basically dead from stress and exhaustion and started talking about his day at work. I was like, stop. Stop talking about work. I don’t want to hear it. I want to sleep. I spent ALL day taking care of other people while carrying around a huge uterus filled with baby and I’m cool with not talking to anyone about anything they care about for the next two weeks.
So, Allan has this huge week where he has group meetings in a different city and yesterday they went to a hockey game after work for team building. To me it just sounded stupid and made me angry, really. Why are you taking my husband away for a stupid hockey game when I’ve been solo parenting for a bazillion years and am just about to pop with child?! Not cool. Just stop with that stuff.
And I can handle it all, I mean- crap, I always do. But I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to feign interest in some stupid hockey game (that meant another night of me doing it all at home) when I’m having painful contractions and feel like I haven’t slept in years.
I don’t care if this sounds rude. Or selfish. Because my life right now? Anything but selfish! lol
(BTW- I will, and do a lot, talk to Allan about work, I just don’t like talking about the dinners and extra stuff after work, it annoyed me that he went to this super long hockey game, which he doesn’t enjoy so it’s not like it was worth any time, when I wanted him at home!)
I have to go get ready to head to an ultrasound now. My last one! Yay!! I don’t particularly enjoy ultrasounds. I mean, I like seeing my baby, but they focus 90% on his hands (the entire purpose of today’s ultrasound) and that’s not fun. It gives me major, major nightmares every time I have an ultrasound about his hands. I dream about Everett coming out looking alien or with no arms or with one stub of an arm with a couple fingers on it, or looking like a slug. Basically, my warped pregnant conscious takes his minor hand deformity and magnifies it while I sleep. lol! It’s really terrible!
So anyway, it will be nice to see him. I’m sure they’ll spend at least one minute looking at his profile and face and that makes me happy. I’ll spend the rest of today floating on a cloud thinking about my baby. If I get some printed photos I’ll scan them and post them later. And maybe by some miracle I won’t dream about alien slug babies tonight. ha