I have to tell you, today was pretty stressful.
I figure I share the good so I should share the bad as well. I’m not sharing to complain, this is life and life is hard sometimes, I’m sharing simply to show that even when things look all rosey that doesn’t mean life is all rosey all the time.
I had so much going on today. I always have a lot going on and I know pretty much all of us do. Why one day feels tremendously more difficult than any other day, I don’t know.
Maybe just the fact that I had to talk on the phone for over an hour this morning while doing the stuff I usually do. I hate talking on the phone but sometimes it’s absolutely necessary! Doctor appointments to schedule, phone bills to get straight, etc.
My kids do not EVER stop talking so phone calls are very near torture for me. I get so mad that any subject me and the other person are talking about turns into something negative for me. Allan might call me up to tell me he earned a $25 gift card or something and all three of the kids at home start talking/crying/whining at the same time and I’m like, “I don’t care about gift cards! I hate money! If someone ever gave me a $25 gift card I would punch them in the face!”
Maybe not really that extreme, but probably pretty close!
Besides the phone call and the endless, truly endless, talking and whining by Sierra and Payson (Sierra the talker, Payson the whiner, naturally) it was a really tiring day. I promised myself that as soon as I was feeling a little better and my voice was decent enough to speak I’d dive back into homeschool full swing and that day has come. We’ve done three full days after almost three weeks off (we did bits and pieces while sick the last few weeks but not really any formal lessons), it was time. And it’s been rough trying to add that back in while taking care of a still-sick baby and finishing all the other million things around the house I have to.
Homeschooling is pretty tough. It’s not just the added workload of teaching but the fact that there is not one minute away from kids… it gets really difficult to stay positive when my role as mom is so relentless. I cry a lot (a lot when my kids are sick and therefore extra needy) in the afternoons or evenings from the stress of it all. Today it was SO MUCH chaos that after having spent 9 straight hours with my kids without a single second of quiet I literally went in my room and hid. I didn’t even do anything either, just stood behind my armoir and stared at the wall across from me.
And can I just say that when I said not one second of quiet… you guys, I am not joking. I am not even a little bit joking. It was a very loud day and nothing worked to quiet them down! Even quiet games, even reading together, even the desperate turning on of the TV at the end of the day. Their mouths were relentless! And Ember! Oh my gosh that baby girl (I love her more than anything) is usually a super clingy baby and when she’s sick!! I need to be a kangaroo and have a pouch because my arms are basically falling off my body in pain…
I guess it’s not fair to blame it on homeschooling… feeding and caring for Payson and his allergies (he has many but I usually only talk about gluten) while living off of less than five hours of sleep and having a super clingy baby… it’s all a bit much.
I call Allan sometimes around 4pm and tell him that I’m going to put the kids in bed and when he gets home I’m going out to just be alone. To just sit and breathe.
And then I feed the kids and put them to bed and he gets home and my entire body is way too tired to go do something more. Even something fun. So I might blog, I might watch a TV show, maybe Allan and I will talk, but I never actually go anywhere because I’m seriously too brain dead and tired to function in public at that point.
I wish there was a way I could get out during the day. Or maybe just the weekends. I should go somewhere every Saturday for a few hours. I really should. I had just started that before we all got sick. Now that Ember is so sick she really just wants me and my boobs so I’m pretty stuck.
And so there you have it. What I think and feel while smiling and lovingly teaching and caring for my children all day 😉
As much fun as they have and as kind and patient as I act, inside I’m really hurting sometimes. This week is one of those times.
And in spirit of full disclosure I’m breastfeeding Ember as I type this post (for the fortieth time today) and Payson has been playing with toys on my desk and talking to me nonstop. Though it’s 5:30pm and I have spent the ENTIRE day with him. It doesn’t matter to kids. In fact, he’s had his arm resting on mine the entire time, too. I don’t remember wanting that much of my mother’s time and attention when I was little! After 10 hours wouldn’t you get sick of your own mother?
For all this talking I did I have a lot of pictures too!
Today school started off with a leftover activity from our lake time yesterday. We colored little fish and made fishing poles. Payson broke two of the fishing poles within ten seconds. I fixed them though thankfully so all breakdowns were averted.
We talked about what colors fish are and what they eat and stuff like that. Payson’s kit (it’s from Mother Goose Time if you’re wondering) also had a little fishing lure worm and the plan was to put it in a paper bag and talk about something fish could eat and they had to feel the worm and guess what it was.
But Payson found the worm and broke it long before that was a possibility. haha
Next was math. We’re using Hands on Standards for Payson and Rightstart Math level B for Sierra.
Today we did counting by 5s and 10s. We counted to 5 and back. We did our basic math addition facts. We did some word problems. We pulled out our attribute blocks and talked about shapes and sizes and practiced sorting. And some other stuff that I’m too lazy to type about. haha