The Life I Want

The lack of hurry. Glancing up at the sound of giggles, feeling warm soapy water, dirty dishes in my hand, while watching a baby and toddler become friends amidst a pile of baby toys on the living room floor.

Noticing the rustling in the bushes, stopping to search for the lizard running through the leaves, pointing out the lizard to eager, excited children.

Laughing fully along with small voices to the silly song about frogs blaring from the car speakers.

Laying on the ground in the afternoon; soaking in the image of my little boy, nose to nose with his stuffed elephant, staring off into space, consumed with toddler thoughts. That elephant nose, rubbing back and forth.

The load of laundry on my hip abandoned on the couch while I kneel to tickle the baby. The sound of her giggles filling the room with happiness.

The life I want.

My mind is a lot clearer now. I am not depressed. I’m not overly stressed. Things are balanced. Within the balance are stressful moments. There are also lots of busy moments. Those don’t consume me anymore.

Oh man is life full right now. When not cleaning, cooking or homeschooling we’re outside or we’re inside playing lots of games or reading books. I love playing games and reading books! I love that my mind isn’t elsewhere, on uncompleted to dos, while being with my kids!

Switching gears… because the pictures are in this order and I don’t feel like rearranging them… my Ember baby loves being up on her toes.
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What’s wrong with standing on my toes?
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It’s true, she is currently fully a toe walker. It brings me back to Sierra’s babyhood and makes me fearful and yet it is so cute.
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I don’t know if her toe walking will “stick around” like Sierra’s did. I really hope not. But I guess toe walking is genetic. I used to walk on the tops of my toes as a kid (not constantly like Sierra) and Payson does that often, too. So somewhere in my genetics I’m setting my kids up for physical therapy. Great 😛
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A couple of pictures not needing captions.
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Payson decided to rip apart a scrapbook page I had on the table. He threw a sheet of vellum on the floor. It landed near Ember. Who happily gobbled up her treat. The ink from the printed journaling made quite the mess. Where was I? Sitting right next to her oblivious until she’d chewed for a few seconds. Brooklyn was sitting a few feet away and said, “Mom, Ember has paper!”
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After Sierra’s school time that morning we went to the arboretum to experience nature with our five senses.
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Every time we’re close to a cactus now Brooklyn wants to take a picture while touching it for me to post on my blog.
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Sierra and her toe-walking forced lean.
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Payson was running happily through the arboretum. So fast that he tripped. I comforted him and asked if he wanted a picture of his owie (my kids love pictures of their owies) and he did.
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Then he wanted a picture of how dirty elephant got when he fell.
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Ember loves the arboretum.
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I always bring diapers and wipes when we go places (obviously they’re needed) but I also always leave them in the car. Because I change the kids a lot in the car and am stupid and don’t put the stuff back in my diaper bag. I don’t know why I do that.
So Ember had a very full (leaked through) diaper and I had no wipes. Luckily I did have a diaper. I used my water bottle and her shorts to clean her up. So she went pantless the rest of the trip. Luckily it was hot so it worked out.
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We sat in this area for a while. The kids colored in their art books while I nursed Ember.
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I took a picture of elephant. I think Payson will like to have it on his wall 🙂
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Ember was happy to watch everything from the stroller once her belly was full.
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The kids had some fruit for a little snack and Brooklyn glared at Sierra because Sierra accidentally bumped Brooklyn’s knee.
Yes, this glare was for that. Brooklyn’s pretty dramatic.
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Ember is old enough to enjoy the aboriginal music now. She giggled a lot over it and all of us dancing around.
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I asked the kids who could do the silliest dance. Brooklyn wins hands down.
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It’s gotten into the 90s this week. We were all hot from the arboretum trip so we went home and played in the sprinkler.
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And then had popsicles.
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Since the popsicles were just organic apple juice I let the kids give Ember a taste.
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And then it was time for school! School in a swimsuit.
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Sierra had already done her school in the morning so she played with puzzle pieces and pattern cards with Payson.
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The next day I didn’t take any pictures until the evening during our shopping trip to Target.
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Payson got this new little truck for $1.99. He spotted it and begged me in the cutest way for it and I couldn’t resist.
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All three kids were so excited at the end when I said we should get icees.
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And they were so cute sharing the different flavors they got ♥
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I don’t usually get an icee for myself. And I usually hate everything flavored orange. I can’t stand orange candy or soda or popsicles or anything. I was surprised when I tasted the girls’ orange cream icee by how much I loved it! I went and bought one for myself!
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Payson and I were giving each other tastes. It was so fun sitting with him (the girls were at another table, which was adorable that they went and sat on their own at a little table) and sharing. He’s a very sweet little boy. He was so happy that he could have an icee 🙂
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So that icee I loved? I drank four or five sips and got sick of it. haha!

And now, I really have to go get some stuff clean and then set up Payson’s preschool stuff! I’m so excited. It came in the mail this week and there are posters and a calendar that are supposed to be hung on the wall. I bought some large whiteboards to hang them up on instead. I’m sick of poking holes in my wall to have the poster ripped down by Payson anyway!

6 thoughts on “The Life I Want

  • I know you get overwhelmed and frustrated sometimes but I have to say….you really are my hero. Lol. You are SO hands on with the kids. I always try and then get really aggitated so it is still a work in progress but you really do inspire me. I swear the kids get cuter every single day. EMber is HUGE now.:)

  • Ooooooo, what did you get Payson for preschool? Inquiring minds want to know! Graham won't turn 3 until October, so I think I'm to wait another year until I do more structure with him, but I do want to start doing some with him this coming year.

  • April, Ember is huge, isn't she? It makes me sad 🙁
    Though she is SO fun right now.
    I feel flattered that you say I inspire you. I have a lot of weaknesses and faults, moody moments with my kids included, but I do try to be hands on and kind as much as I can.

    Amber, I got two programs to try out! I figured we'd be bored this summer so I'd try both to see which I want to go with next year. Sierra will join in, too. And Brooklyn will because otherwise she'll be jealous. lol
    I got Mother Goose Time and Adventures in Learning. We set up Mother Goose Time this morning and started in and my kids LOVE it. Payson knows most of the stuff already (as far as letters, numbers, shapes and colors) but still has a blast. I'll take pictures and blog about it next week 🙂
    Adventures in Learning looks nice, too, but right now I'm pretty sure it'll be Mother Goose Time for us.

  • You “sound” so much more relaxed and at peace with things! Not that you weren't before, but something just sounds like it's clicked now. Yeah!

    I honestly don't know how you do it, I know I've said that before. But really, you have so much on your plate and you seem to just ooze love and kindness. I admire that!

    Wonderful post!

  • I understand about the moody moments. This evening I took the kids outside to play in the water hose and then have root beer floats. They were screaming ” this is the best day ever!” and it made me realize how easy it is to excite kids. 🙂 Then we read books about the sea and rainforest and dinosaurs tonight and I felt so much more patient and relaxed with them. It is moments like that that make all the other moments worth it for sure.

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