Stupid Day, Stupid Work

Today is a day when I feel like venting. I type out sentence after sentence only to highlight and delete over and over and over again.

No use to have that here, though.
The little kids played together for a little while this morning.

I read some more of my book while nursing Ember.

The book is Wuthering Heights and I really like it so far. I’ve read about 50 pages.

12 thoughts on “Stupid Day, Stupid Work

  • We were required to read Withering Heights in high school. I didn't read it.Of course that was in my young and stupid teen years so I should probably give it another try. Lol. Also, I read your post on the other blog and wanted you to know that even though others might not be facing the same challenges as you do with Payson that we are here for you. I am dealing with issues with my children too that I don't post about so if you ever want to email me and chat I am here. πŸ™‚ Just wanted to let you know so you don't feel alone.
    I love how PAyson adores his baby sister. πŸ™‚

  • I appreciate your comment. It does suck feeling alone in certain struggles.

    It's always a huge help when other moms talk about struggles with things like sleep issues or potty training when I'm going through that and I feel like there's noone there to talk about the food issues with.

    Because of Payson's age in all of this I feel despair over what to do. There's no explaining things to him. I could possibly put the entire family on the GAPS diet to help him feel that it's normal but I just don't think I can handle the stress of getting the girls to eat that food for what they'd feel is no reason.

    And Payson doesn't nap anymore which is when my daughters had their huge meal with all the dangerous-for-Payson foods.

    See, there I go off about it. I usually just delete half of what I type about it because I imagine it must bore everyone to tears to read about! lol

  • I am sorry to hear that his is so hard on Payson and you. I cannot imagine just how difficult it can be balancing all of it with all the kiddos too. I feel for you all!!! Hoping you'll be able to find an answer someday very soon! (hugs)

  • I feel for you, I really do! We have major issues with our youngest and it's almost impossible to find someone to talk to about it. We have our (speech) therapist but I very much understand the isolating feeling. It's hard when little kids have struggles, the reasoning isn't always there but the frusteration is!

  • Part of the reason I love blogging so much is connecting with people who understand things that moms go through. It really does feel like a huge support system even if it is just online. The lose of Payson's naptime must be brutal for you. I so understand about the emotional issues of his diet for him but then you are trapped with his health decisions too. When I feel completely lost in a situation I truly just pray and pray and listen. Usually something will come through. Macie has nut allergies which she won't outgrow. Do the docs think Payson will eventually outgrow his? I am praying for you guys. You are not alone and for what it is owrth you do an amazing job with those kiddos. Right now we are having struggles with focus in school and such and it has turned into a nightmare.

  • Sarah, the frustration without the reasoning is one of the hardest parts, for sure πŸ™
    How long have you been dealing with the speech issues with your youngest? Are things getting better or does it feel like a slow going road?

    Oceans5, (all this time of chatting online and I don't know your first name)- they don't think he'll outgrow his allergies.
    Nut allergies are scary. At least Payson's allergies aren't life threatening. Sure I have to change horrible diapers every few hours and can't feed him practically anything but worrying about my child's throat closing and potentially dying would be horrifying πŸ™

    Are your other children allergy free? Do you have a completely nut free home or do you eat foods with nuts when she's not around?

  • Lol. My name is April. πŸ™‚

    Our other kids are completely allergy free. Macie is the only one that has it and her doc was really shocked since there is no history on either side of nut allergies. For the most part we are a nut free home. I buy Sunbutter for the other 2 ( MAcie doesn't like it) to replace peanut butter for them. I will eat Chick-fil-A but only when she is at school since they use peanut oil. At first it was very frustrating and scary but she had her first reaction at 2 and so we have had 4 years to figure it out.

    We carry an epipen at all times and the school has one as well. Thankfully we have never had to use it. She has reacted before when somehow a nut made its way to her but the reaction was small enough to just use Benadryl. Peanuts upset me now. How can something SO small pose a life threating risk? She tests positive to peanuts and walnuts but we avoid ALL tree nuts. I think it would be so hard to avoid something like wheat, gluten, etc.
    With the nuts we have to be super careful because Macie will react if someone with nuts on their hands touches something and then she does. It is stressful. Food allergies of any type make me so sad. I'm not allergic to anything so my heart breaks for all the kiddos that are.

    You have metioned before about healing Paysons tummy? Is there something more than just the allergies going on? Or is it the allergies that are hurting his poor little tummy?

  • Thanks for responding, I love how blogs offer the opportunity to interact in their own way. πŸ™‚

    My youngest is three and we found out exactly what she struggles with about 2 months ago. It does seem like a lifetime though, typing out 2 months seems strange! The process of getting her to be able to talk so others understand her will be a very slow one, which we are prepared for. As much as you can be. It's so frusterating, and it breaks my heart when she's terrified of new people because she knows she can't communicate well. Sign language isn't a good option right now for various reasons…we are looking at years and years of therapy without any promises. But we've already seen improvment in a short time, which is HUGE! Parent's just want what's best for their children, and it hurts to know they have struggles.

    We have several friends who have children with allergies. One family recently went to a clinic in IL. They are trying to introduce very, very tiny particles of a nut in hopes that over time the dose will increase and his allergy will be gone.

    Such hard stuff!

  • Oh I did know your name was April, I must've just forgot!

    I know what you mean about seeing a peanut and feeling upset. There are times when Payson's napping and I'm baking for the girls and as I pour the flour into the bowl I say, “and next we add the poison.”

    We have no allergies in my family either! And my husband's side is clear, too. I don't know how he got them so terribly.

    I think there must be something going on besides allergies for him to be getting as bad as he is. He's had diarrhea for most of his life, even when I'm feeding him gluten/dairy/apple/soy/seed free (he has reactions to all of those things, the gluten is the major one so I never mention the others).

    For the past year I thought it must be him stealing food with wheat or getting it out of the garbage or off the floor or cross contamination. But now I think the allergies might be a symptom of a bigger problem of his intestinal wall being inflamed and weak and his gut bacteria flora being out of balance.

    According to the book I read allergies can come about because of an imbalance of bacteria in the gut. The body is having such a hard time keeping up that foods that are hard to digest start signaling to the body that there's a problem. And the body responds with an allergic reaction which wipes out the food (diarrhea).

    Something like that. haha, it's confusing!

    Sarah, 2 months sounds like no time at all but living it feels more like 2 years!

  • Ariana, have you ever read anything about leaky gut syndrome? If you thought that may be what Payson is dealing with and your doctor isn't familiar with it, do some research into biomedical doc's. There are also labs where you can order test kits and test for it yourself.

    I totally understand feeling alone with special needs kids! Abigail is doing well now days but both of my boys have a long road ahead of them.

  • Wish I could help you not be so frustrated but I know nothing of allergies other than the fact that my poor brother was allergic to everything, and I mean everything except I think chicken and eggs. Every kind of tree or flower and all kinds of foods. He had to go through a long series of shots when he was young and that seemed to help but he still struggles constantly with them…

    On another note, Wuthering Heights is one of my favs! I hope you really get to enjoy it and maybe take your mind off of crap for a bit. πŸ˜‰

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