9am and I Want a Do Over!

I’m tired. *whiiiiiine*
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Today sucks. I want to go back to bed. I don’t want to be the mom today. I don’t want to clean this house and fold the laundry and make food and teach lessons and hear nonstop talking.

But who cares what I don’t want to do? It really doesn’t matter when you’re the mom. There is always work. There is always at least one, and most times four, people wanting your constant attention.

I want to go back to bed, damn it. I was up a lot of the night with Ember and I’m freaking tired.

Aren’t I a ray of sunshine? Sheesh.

Today is Sierra’s 5th birthday. I can hardly believe I’m typing that let alone it being true. She just can’t be five. It’s an error of the calendar in some way. She’s only 3, maybe returning 4. I won’t allow five. It’s too much.

And since it’s her birthday. I’m trying desperately to snap out of this mood. But it’s not working. I’m so annoyed.

But annoyed or not I will put on that happy face and I will take Sierra to the store to pick our her presents and I will take the kids for our traditional McDonald’s happy meal lunch and I will focus on that precious daughter of mine. And hopefully, oh hopefully, I will find happiness. And I will lose the attitude.

Ember has just finished nursing so it’s time to get this day going. Wish me luck!
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P.S. Ember just did a really loud fart and the older three kids laughed. And Payson said, “Was that Ember?!”

10 thoughts on “9am and I Want a Do Over!

  • Happy Birthday to Sierra. I hope she has a great day. I completely understand about wanting a break from being a mom. Every mom feels that way sometimes. I hope your day turns around and that you feel better. πŸ™‚

  • Happy 5th Birthday to Sierra! Hope she has a great time picking out her presents. I totally understand about needing a break sometimes from mom duties. We all have those days.
    Maybe getting out of the house will snap you out of your mood (((hugs))) if not it's OK. Remember your kiddos love you mood or not!

  • Awww Happy Birthday Sierra! I hope she has a great day and mommy has a better day too (and then they're all wiped out from a busy day and go to bed early this evening so mom can get a nice long sleep too!) Happy Day Sierra!

  • Happy Birthday Sierra! For some reason when my oldest turned 3, that was hard for me. But for my second-born, it was 5 that was the toughie (so far). I don't know why, but it just sounds so old!

    I hear you on days like this. There are times when I'd give anything to just crawl back into bed and let the kids figure it out on their own for the day! HA! The good news is that days like this are almost always followed by a “good” day. Equilibrium.

  • Ditto to what everyone else has said…unfortunately, I have more than enough of “those days” to go around. I guess it makes you appreciate the really good ones even more, though.
    Happy, Happy Birthday Sierra!!!! 5 is such a “big girl” age. πŸ™‚

  • P.S. I think it's the constant little voices that make everything seem worse. When they're all quite….BLISS! Hudson has jumped on the “I'm going to spend every waking hour yakking your ear off” wagon and dang! It gets tiring.
    Cute, of course…but tiring.

  • In all kindness, I think your kids would benefit from attending school, interacting with other children and adults, and it would give you a chance to meet some in person adults and develop a support system. It is very hard to meet the needs of everyone all by yourself every single day. Give it some thought.

  • Thanks everyone, the day turned out good. Sierra had a really great time πŸ™‚

    Anonymous,
    I've definitely considered public school for my children, that's the default for most American parents, isn't it? πŸ™‚

    Allan and I have researched and prayed about all of the options. More than once, too. Far more than once! We regularly talk about it and re-evaluate if it's the best thing for Brooklyn.

    We repeatedly come to the same exact conclusion- this is the best option for Brooklyn and our family long term despite mornings like this or stressful events or just bad days that happen occasionally.

    Allan and I are already really pleased with the amazing progress we've seen Brooklyn make as a result of homeschooling. And we all get a lot of socialization. We're out with people at least four days a week! I think it's too much socialization, personally, but Brooklyn loves it. It's just the right balance for her πŸ™‚

    So yeah, thought about it, think about it, decide against it every time.

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