Oh Goodness

It’s been a hard week for me. For a few different reasons but mostly because having four little kids is a ton of work. I feel like it’s more work than I can handle, honestly.

And really I’m so tired right now I don’t even want to talk 🙁

Speaking of tired…

She sure does look tired, doesn’t she?

Like she could sleep for hours…

Or wake up after three minutes to hang out with mommy.

The only place she does sleep out of my arms is in the swing. I’ve tried her bassinet, her bouncy chair, my bed, swaddled, unswaddled, bundled and warm, blanketless and able to stretch… nothing but mommy’s arms is going to make this girl happy.

Payson grows more in love with his little sister every day. Which is crazy because he doesn’t spend a lot of time with her.

But he dotes on her and cuddles her and talks to her as if she knows what he’s saying.

Hearing him with her makes me feel happy. Total, peaceful, everything in the world is right, happy.

He was putting the tray on the swing and Ember was fussing and kicking it off and every time she did he’d CRACK UP . “EmBOW!!” *giggle*
Then he’d put it on again, trying to hold back laughing, and sit there smiling waiting and watching.

My camera hasn’t been getting much loving lately. I take it everywhere but I don’t always take it out. Probably because Ember’s decided she hates being out on errands now. She cries the entire time she’s in the Snugli. She used to love that thing. Maybe I’ll try the wrap on errands.

14 thoughts on “Oh Goodness

  • I really dont know how you do it all! esp that you homeschool as well, but you do a fantastic job! Im 21 – you would have had Brooklyn then, I cant imagine how I would handle a baby now.

  • I am so sorry! I've never had a problem adjusting with any of my kids it's kind of hard to relate. For me 4 is easy. But then again I don't homeschool so when I had my 3rd. My oldest was in kindergarten. And as she grew then he moved to first and my oldest daughter went to preschool. That's when I got pregnant with my 4th. And now both of the olders are in school full time. So I am back down to 2 for the most part. I couldn't imagine never having some sort of a break. When they're at school it's easier for me to concentrate on the younger 2 (not to mention clean and run errands is easier) so we really enjoy our time when we are ALL together.

    I hope it gets better! You're such an amazing mother!

  • I'm sorry you're struggling & I know it is hard! You are doing an amazing job though. I know you are missing your man & that doesn't really help either! I wish, wish, wish I could be there with you Tiffany! I wish we had the $ so that I didn't have to work, but it just isn't my reality! Maybe for Mother's Day I can come & see you? I pray that you will come home for Christmas!

  • You're truly doing an amazing job! There's always an adjustment phase when you add a new little person to the mix. It sounds like you're experiencing the normal ups and downs, and I think it's admirable that you are willing to share these honest emotions…whether you're having a great day or one that's a bit more of a struggle.

    One thing is for sure – you have 4 beautiful kids who are happy, healthy and very loved! They will always remember the gifts of time and attention you bless them with every day!

  • Your an amazing mother. Putting the girls in school after Christmas break would definitely give you a much needed break. You could enjoy your time with Payson and Ember during the day, and then when you all are together you would be much more refreshed to enjoy each other.

  • Payson is a total crack-up! He always looks like he's up to something…and I love that! What a sweetie. You know I'd take him for a week or so if you want to pin a few dollars to his jacket and send him my way 😉 LOL
    Hang in there, Mama! You're doing beautifully!

  • I feel for you! I can't imagine how hard it must be to have so much going on at home. Newborns and ones you have to homeschool. It seems like you are doing an amazing job, which isn't a small feat I am sure!

    Have you ever considered putting your kiddos (or your oldest) in public school this year? I am sure there are lots of pros and cons, and that you've already thought that through. I was just curious! 🙂

    Hang in there!

  • I thought about sending Brooklyn to school a lot during the first two weeks after Ember was born. Lately it hasn't crossed my mind because homeschooling her has gotten a lot easier. I can teach her while nursing Ember.

    What I can't do while nursing Ember is:
    clean or cook or change Payson's diapers or go grocery shopping.

    During those moments in the day is when my world feels like it's falling apart. The worst time is 4-7pm when Ember's her absolute crankiest and I'm trying to prepare something for dinner or get leftovers on the table and change Payson and brush the kids' teeth and put them to bed. Ember screams the whole time because she wants to be nursed. Even if she isn't hungry. It's just her touchpoint time of day and it sucks.

  • I think you are doing an amazing job! What's that saying…We are our own worst critics? Something like that, anyway. I always try to remember, when I'm having my own days where I don't feel productive or whatever, that we are all healthy, warm, have full bellies, etc etc. Sometimes it works and sometimes I still throw myself a pity party LOL I'm trying to remember tricks I used when mine were still so young

    If you pump at all, you may want to check in to Podee bottles. http://www.podee.com I used them for my second occasionally, since my first was still in diapers and not walking. I would pump and put the breast milk in the bottle. There are also variations of the Podee where the nipple is more like a binky. It's definitely not for every single feeding, but those times at night when you are trying to do other things may be eased by this. I got mine at Babies R Us for around $5-10, I think.

    Will Ember sleep better if you put a heating pad wherever you are going to lay her, and when she falls asleep in your arms, MOVE the heating pad and lay her on the warm spot? That was the only way I could get my son to sleep out of my arms…The coolness of laying him down would kind of rouse him out of his sleep and he'd wake up a few minutes later…

    What about laying her in the middle of the boppy? She is propped up on the boppy itself, but the U shape kind of cuddles her. That worked for my son some, too. I know some people will probably be aghast at letting a baby sleep with a pillow, but I used to be in the same room with him and constantly glancing up to make sure he was okay. It just allowed me to be able to clean up some.

    I know you said you have a wrap and a snuggli…What about a hotsling? I wore both mine around the house in a hotsling while I did chores. Especially when they were so little they just tucked right down in the pocket. Do you think she'd like that more than the snuggli or wrap?

    Just remember, it will get better!

  • Thanks Mary! I think about our conversation last month from time to time and remind myself that once the newborn phase ends things will mellow out. Every day does get easier!

    Kristin, I love all your suggestions. I have a going list on my desk of things to try. Some I've gotten to and some I haven't. I really like the heating pad before laying her down idea. I could warm her bassinet up before putting her down and then I could use the heating pad for my sore back, too! lol

    I've been meaning to pump and try a bottle again with her. My husband would love to be able to give her a bottle at night sometimes, too. We've tried three different bottles but I am thinking about buying some more just to see. I've never heard of podee. I'll check them out next time I'm at Babies R Us.

    Did you tell me in your email when your Ember's birthday is?

  • Yep, 2 in less than two weeks. Today I'm doing okay. Tomorrow could be a totally different answer! Thanks for asking 🙂

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