Oh These BOOBS

I didn’t take any pictures today. And this is all talking.

I started feeling really lucky last night. Really, really yucky. My body ached so bad and then I got severe chills and was *freezing* and felt so weak I could barely lift Ember.

I figured I was just exhausted from no sleep and maybe having a hormonal surge causing the chills.

The next morning (this morning) I was feeling even worse. I was SO COLD. Anyone who knows me knows I’m very rarely cold. I knew something must be wrong so I eventually took my temperature.

It was 102 so I called my doctor.

By this time my body hurt so bad I felt like I’d been hit by a truck.

I scheduled a doctor appointment for the afternoon and Allan called just then and heard I was sick and said he’d come home early (today was his first day back at work) which I was thankful for. He came home around 3pm.

I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I figured I had a kidney infection or something. My boobs hurt but I didn’t think I had mastitis. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m so used to the pain of engorgement it didn’t cross my mind that something was wrong.

So we saw my doctor and he did a full exam (so glad that my bleeding is so light that the vaginal wasn’t embarrassing! lol) and as soon as he pulled my shirt up and saw my red boobie he was like, oh yeah, mastitis! I hadn’t noticed the redness because really I hadn’t spent any time staring at my boobs today. lol
I have the typical wedge redness. I guess that’s common for mastitis.

So I got antibiotics and started taking tylenol. I just woke up in agony now (1am) and pumped on the infected side and am about to go wake up Ember to nurse on the other side and I’m hoping I can get a solid two hours of sleep after that! That would be heavenly.

Ember’s still having a lot of problems nursing. Mostly at night. She latches on alright during the day but at night she’s so sleepy and lazy that she doesn’t want to try and ends up screaming into my nipple. lol
Every single night I decide that’s it, no more nursing!! And then the next monring she latches on fine (still only on one side) and I’m like, oh this isn’t so bad.

Tonight I was feeling depressed after my doctor appointment. I was in a lot of pain and feeling so very overwhelmed from all the responsibilities needing to be met. I told Allan, I’m pretty sure I have post partum depression. I just don’t want to do all this work.

He gave the kids dinner while I pumped and nursed Ember. Then he put them to bed. I am SO THANKFUL for him picking up the slack!! He goes above and beyond… cleans, cooks, does all the childcare stuff, changes Payson, everything! He’s been a true life saver for me.

So after he put the kids to bed he started making us dinner while I again nursed Ember. He made a yummy salad and grilled hamburgers. It was so so good.

We sat outside on the porch talking while we ate. The weather was heavenly (80s this week!!) and the sky was gorgeous. It was dark but we could still see the intense clouds.

We came inside around 9pm and no matter what I tried I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I fell asleep on the couch nursing Ember. I hate doing that because I really don’t feel like it’s safe! She’s now in her bouncy chair in my bedroom sleeping soundly. I was disappointed that I had to pump before going to sleep myself, but hey, I got all these thoughts down! First time I’ve really recorded anything I’m going through right now.

I really need to start doing some schoolwork with the other kids soon. It’s been two full weeks since we did anything REAL.

I just heard Ember squak. YAY! Better go nurse her and go to bed! Sleeeeeeep. Love sleep.

10 thoughts on “Oh These BOOBS

  • I am sorry you have been sick, and feeling depressed. I now how hard it can be to be. I know a lot of people who take 6 weeks off home schooling after they have a baby. We took off about that long because my baby was in the hospital for a month. I think you should take off the time you need. Even with a few breaks, home schooled kids are almost always ahead academically .

  • I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time but it does help so much and it is such a relief when you have a helpful husband. With baby #5 I got the baby blues pretty bad for a couple weeks, my husband was always thinking one step ahead for me and the kids and that took a tremendous burden off of me so I can concentrate on myself getting better and feeling better, both emotionally and physically. I hope things soon get easier for you and you start feeling well again ASAP. Take care.

  • Oh, I feel your pain! I had Mastitis with my first and it was awful!! It is so hard when you have a brand new baby to take care of and you feel horrible. The worst for me was trying to feed or pump on the infected side because it was so painful!! I hope you feel better soon. You are doing a great job with 4 kids, and you can get back to homeschooling when you are feeling better! 🙂

  • Hi I am a long time lurker on your blog and wanted to come out of lurkdom to tell you what worked for me when my 4th child had problems latching on. We had major problems with her latching on, she would do it one time and then we couldn't get her to nurse for anything the next time. They had me use a nipple shield (I think it was Medela brand) and it worked amazingly. I ended up using it her first 1 – 2 weeks and then tried nursing her with out it one day and she latched on just fine. It was a life saver. Not sure where you can buy them as I was giving mine in the hospital, but I'm sure they are available somewhere.

    On a side note I just wanted to say that I love reading your blog. I also have 4 kids 7 and under and you inspire me everyday. I homeschooled my kids last year, but just couldn't do it this year with the new baby and my husbands new crazy schedule. I look forward each day to seeing the adventures that go on in your house. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your daily life with us here in cyberspace.

  • Oh wow, how miserable! 🙁 You poor thing! I cannot even imagine all that you must be feeling right now! Just being exhausted is bad enough, not to mention the infection, and needing to nurse the baby and having all the other babies to care for! I'm exhausted just THINKING about all you must be going through right now! Thank goodness you have such a wonderful husband who helps you so much! We are very blessed with our husbands! Not all Dads are willing to take on such a huge role in helping with all the things it takes to care for the babies. I hope you start feeling better soon and that by some miracle you will actually get some rest!

  • i had mastitis a few weeks ago… nursing tons is the best thing you can do. also massage the infected breast in the shower and put hot compresses on it. I also put cabbage leaves on it with an ice pack and that helped. the cabbage draws out the infection and the ice just feels good. good luck! you are doing great!

  • Mastitis sucks big time! You are a super trooper to get through that! Don't worry about the school work. We took a good 6 weeks off when I had Leah, and it took another month to really get back into the swing of things. We kind of do school all year round, so it all worked out fine. My kids are definitely not behind.

  • Ugh. So sorry you are going through mastitis. Keep on nursing and it will go away and the latching problems will resolve. Having a newborn is hard enough on it's own, without adding other issues. I hope you feel better soon!

  • I could feel myself developing mastitis a few weeks ago, then the red wedge showed up… I had heard from a friend about raw garlic and how it acts as a natural antibiotic. I chopped up and swalled 4 cloves the first night and another 4 the next day and made sure to nurse on that side and take hot showers. I was so glad when it went away on its own!

    And yay for super sweet husband taking care of his family!

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