Postpartum Hormones and Nursing Problems

Well I’m having my first postpartum breakdown cry. I’ve been up almost all night in pain and frustration because of engorgement and I don’t know what to do about it.

I read a lot and watched videos online to try to figure out how to ease engorgement and enable Ember to latch on and on one side that works alright but it takes forever and the other side is totally helpless. She can’t latch on at all.

I feel like she isn’t getting enough to eat at all and my chest hurts so bad I can’t stand it!

I bought a manual hand pump before she was born knowing that I’d occasionally want to pump so Allan could feed her or if I needed to leave her for some reason. I keep reading only to pump until your chest is soft enough for baby to latch on and nothing more but I can pump at least 4 ounces before she’s able to latch on. So then I’m wondering if I’m doing the wrong thing.

And tomorrow I’m going to call a lactation consultant but in the meantime I have no idea what to do! I’ve been pumping and giving Ember a bottle of breastmilk all night and I don’t want her to get nipple confusion and I’m so so worried that she’ll stop nursing altogether.

I didn’t get to nurse Sierra or Payson for two totally different reasons and it’s bothered me ever since. I really want to nurse Ember for at least a year. Exclusively. I’m so worried that won’t happen and I’m frustrated I might have to spend more money on an electric pump and I really don’t want ot leave my house to go see a doctor or lactation consultant because I’m so so so tired. I just want to sleep and nurse my baby. Why is nature so screwed up that having a baby and feeding that baby is a miserable experience? My boobs hurt and I don’t want to get an infection.

And I’m so tired and sore I don’t know if something else is wrong with me or if it’s just the engorgement. My body hurts. I feel sick. I’m just so beat down physically. And I look so terrible. Which doesn’t matter except the idea of leaving the house makes me cry.

I really had no idea how much sleep deprivation would affect me. I don’t know why I didn’t remember after having had three kids but I’m so tired and hormonal! I really hate it. I just want to be normal and healthy and feed my baby. Why does it have to be such

Sweet Baby Girl

So very much to share but not much time to do so!

I have a sweet girl wanting some milk and a handsome man sitting beside me just waiting to spend time with me. I’m so very tired but so very happy.

Here are a couple pictures from today.

Allan and Ember in the hospital.

Me and Ember being wheeled out to go home this evening! Yay.

The older three kids were so thrilled to see Ember tonight. There is SO much to write down about the siblings meeting but now isn’t the time.

I took this just now to have something to share.
And I’m off to chat with the hubby and nurse the baby!

Delayed? I’ll Be Pregnant Forever?!

I got a call at 1am that the hospital was too busy for me to come in for my induction. And while that depressed me (I’m sooo impatient!) I knew that could happen so I can hardly pout about it, right?

Well I’m pouting! 🙁
I want this all to be done. lol

And I’m a week early so I really have nothing to complain about. But the expectation is terrible.

I’m about to call the hospital just to ask if there is a possibility that I’ll still go in. I doubt they’ll be able to tell me anything concrete.

If I don’t go in for induction today I’m not going to reschedule one. There is no way on earth that Allan and his mom can take days off from work for this and have them be wasted. Those days off are needed for when I do have the baby!

I don’t really have much more to say. I hate the not knowing. I wish I’d never had an induction scheduled in the first place!

As of now there is still a small chance they’ll call me in for an induction. If not, I’ll for sure be pregnant until next week. And I’ll just have to look at the positive of baby having more time to grow in there.

Until Baby is Here…

I probably won’t blog again until Monday sometime. I’m keeping my memory card empty and the camera batteries charged 😉

I go in for my induction Monday morning at 3am. I’m planning on tweeting a little bit during labor and when the baby’s born so if you are really wanting to keep up with what’s going on as it’s going on you can follow me on twitter. But I also have my twitter updates in the left sidebar here on my blog so you can look for updates there, too.

I will also post here after the baby’s born when things have settled down 🙂

And now I’m off to clean and cook some more in preparation for Allan’s mom coming over to watch the kids.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Caffeine in my Veins

I would appreciate a caffeine IV from now until Monday.

Or I could borrow some of this kid’s energy.

Today I started organizing Ember’s little corner in our bedroom. All the pink makes me feel happy 🙂

I’m eating a fourth of a watermelon as I type this. Yum.


I really love these little people that make me work so hard.

I Really Need it to be Next Tuesday

and there’s not much more to say besides that.
Unless you want to hear a pregnant woman vent about the last days of pregnancy pains and frustrations. Which you don’t, so I won’t 😉

Thank you for all the comments lately. It’s been a rough week and they’ve made me feel better when I read them.
I can’t wait until I have my body to myself and adorable newborn baby pictures to share here! 🙂

Last Week of Belly, Day 2!

Your linea nigra is showing!

Sunday I brought all my non-maternity clothes out of storage and washed them. Well, the larger sized non-maternity clothes, that is. I know I won’t fit into the regular sized stuff until next year.

I tried them on and Sierra joined me for a picture.

And then Brooklyn did, too.

Brooklyn took this one. She’s getting pretty sick of taking these, though! She’d rather take pictures of a pair of pants on the floor or the TV or the wall or her own feet. lol

But then she really, really wanted to take a picture of me with Sierra and Payson showing their bellies. Which I thought was funny.

But then Payson got violent with my belly. (Not really, but it looks like it, ha)

And then I told Brooklyn she needed to be in one of the belly shots, too!
I don’t know how much to blog about what else is going on this week. It’s pretty boring.

I feel like I really, really want a week off. Never before have I wanted time away from everyone as much as I do right now. Yesterday I called Allan at work and told him it’d work for me if he took the week off and stayed with the kids while I went away until next Monday. lol

But not really funny, because I’m serious 😛