Very in the Moment

The girls and I have been spending the mornings doing school together. Payson joins us, scribbling all over the girls’ worksheets after they’ve completed them. Sometimes they freak out about it and want to save a particular worksheet but most of the time they don’t mind him getting to reuse them.
Today he was coloring in a notepad and he put his crayons in the punched holes and the girls were telling him how clever he was and what a good job he did.

I think he was surprised by the reaction to something so simple. But boy did he soak up the attention.

The girls ran off to play in Brooklyn’s room and Payson and I did something we do every single day, multiple times a day. I lay on the floor and he comes and sits right next to me and we just cuddle. I am so happy that he loves to cuddle so much. We spend a lot of our time together just staring into each other’s eyes and whispering things to each other. I love in the middle of times like that when he’s feeling so connected and he touches my face and whispers, “mama” and smiles and just sits looking into my eyes.
Perfect moment.

There are many times when he and I get alone time and spend it playing all kinds of fun, crazy games. Or we spend it learning… he loves flashcards and books and puzzles and workbooks as much as his sisters do.
But then there are also lots of times where we’re just sitting together and talking with lots of breaks for hugs. These moments fill my soul like nothing else.

The kid loves socks and shoes. I’m pretty sure he was trying to take mine off so that he could wear them. lol


Back in 2007, before Payson was conceived or Allan and I had decided to have a third child, one day I had a vision of sorts about Payson. It really wasn’t at all like a vision, though. It was more like a memory I’d forgotten and just remembered and the memory was of my son and a glimpse into our relationship and I had this sudden ache of missing him. It was that day I decided that we absolutely had to have a third child.
We’d been talking about it and mostly things like the added stress and financial stuff were the leading issues when deciding, but after that “dream” of sorts with my baby boy there was no way I could not get pregnant with him. I missed him.

Today, and many days since his birth really, there I am sitting with him and our relationship is exactly like it was in my “memory” of him back in 2007. I believe that we knew our families before coming to this life, I believed that before I had chidlren, but so many little experiences I’ve had as a mother (and even as a wife) have made that belief so concrete and that belief is such a warm, happy thing in my life. These eternal bonds I feel with all these people I’m blessed to have in my family.

I sat Payson’s elephant and monkey up and laid Payson’s book in front of them and told Payson, “Elephant and monkey are reading that book!” And he was so thrilled with me. lol. He went over and was doting on them, bringing them toys and pointing out pictures in the book.

He kept balancing toys on top of the stuffed animals’ heads and the toys would roll off under the futon and he’d retrieve them and do it again.

Then he decided he was going to finish Sierra’s worksheet for her.

And then he moved on to Brooklyn’s.
And as I blog he’s playing with a plastic tub full of glue sticks. He dumps them out and rearranges them on the floor and then puts them all back and then starts over.

While I just typed that Sierra noticed Payson playing with the glue sticks and ran over to join him.
Within seconds she says, “Brooklyn, this is the best! It’s so fun! We get all of them! Do you want to play? It’s so fun!”
Brooklyn, “That’s so much fun? Why is it so much fun?”
Sierra, “We get to play! It’s so much fun. Want to join us?”
Brooklyn, “I have to get something first!”
Brooklyn runs off to get her stuffed animals.
Sierra, “We’re getting all the ones that we want. We’re getting all the ones that we want to bring home.”
Sierra starts gathering glue sticks to take to her room.
Brooklyn, “Wait a minute you’re not allowed to do that.”
Brooklyn making her stuffed animals play with the glue sticks and speak, “This is so much fun. This is so exciting! This is so much fun!”
Sierra takes glue sticks Brooklyn wanted.
Brooklyn, “Wait! I’m not having so much fun, I’m having the horriblest time ever!”

Within a couple seconds everything was fine again and she’s playing happily. Actually right now she’s singing One Republic songs while they play 😀

And with that, I’ve got a lot to go do and sitting at the computer for another second isn’t one of them 🙂

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