Seemingly Not a Very Good Person

This morning Brooklyn asks me, “Can I open one of my birthday presents early?”

I tell her, “No, we’re already having your birthday celebration a month early, you can wait until tomorrow, we have fun things to do today anyway.”

She starts whining loudly and pouting and throws herself to the ground. She grabs a book near her and rips off a page.

I say, “Brooklyn go in your room for a 6 minute timeout.”

She starts whining about not wanting a timeout and how she ripped out the page on accident.

“Brooklyn, go to your room or it’s going to be longer.”

She screams, “No, I’m not going!”

I tell her, “Your timeout is now 7 minutes and if you don’t get up and go right now it’ll be 8 minutes.”

She s l o w l y walks to her room while screaming and crying.

Once in her room she starts crying/yelling out, “I want my timeout to be 6 minutes!! I want 6 minutes! I want my timeout to be 6 minutes!”

I ignore her because she does this 100% of the time she gets a timeout and responding will just make her fit longer.

She kicks her door.

“Brooklyn your timeout is now 8 minutes for kicking your door.”

She screams “no” and kicks her door again.

“Brooklyn your timeout is now 9 minutes.”

I hear her fall to the floor in her room screaming.

“I want my timeout to be 7 minutes! I want the 7 minute timeout! IF I STOP CRYING WILL IT BE 7 MINUTES?!?!”
She repeats screaming, “IF I STOP CRYING WILL IT BE 7 MINUTES?” over and over until I say,

“Brooklyn your timeout won’t start until you are quiet. If you are screaming it’s going to be 10 minutes.”

She runs out of her room and flops on the living room floor, “NO!!”

I walk towards her and she sprints back to her room and slams the door.

She is quiet for about ten seconds before starting to cry/whine/scream again.

“IF I STOP CRYING WILL MY TIMEOUT BE 7 MINUTES?!” repeat, repeat, repeat.

I again ignore her. After 4 minutes of screaming she finally is quiet.

And that’s where we are right this second on this fine Friday morning.

Because I wouldn’t let her have a birthday present early.

Welcome to my life.

12 thoughts on “Seemingly Not a Very Good Person

  • So sorry you're having a rough morning. I have a “Brooklyn” too (only mine's named Brynn), and so I can totally relate. As in, word for word what you posted. Hope your day goes more smoothly from here on out!

  • Bless your soul…you are so patient. I worry my daughter may someday be this way as well. She's already busting out the drama at 2 years old. At least I have your blog to refer to when I feel like I might lose my mind ๐Ÿ™‚

  • You're doing an awesome job. And ignore that little voice in your head that probably right about now doesn't want to give her ANYTHING for her birthday, much less a present a day or a month early. It will get better – HUGS to you – the weekend is starting soon and maybe you'll get a little break from it all. (:

  • huh, so that's the right way to handle that. Good job! I don't think I'd be able to handle that situation so well. I tend to bluster and yell right back… I will have to try that next time.

  • Melanie, I'm sorry you have a “Brooklyn” it tries my every last ounce of patience.

    Nicole, hopefully it's just terrible twos. Brooklyn was much worse at 2, if that's even imaginable! So maybe even if your daughter is ornery it'll be a bit better in a couple years!

    Christine, you're so right on about the voice in my head to not give her presents. I've felt this way the last 5 birthdays though, and have never skipped the occasion. lol. As much as I want to. lol

    Erika, I'm honestly not even a little bit of a yeller and this kid makes me want to spend my whole day screaming. I grit my teeth so much they actually hurt every single day.
    It's ridiculous. But yelling only makes her worse. If I remain unemotional about the consequence it cuts down on the length of her fits a lot.
    It's just so hard to remain calm! Sometimes I just want to firmly, madly tell her, “Get your whiny, ornery butt in your room!!” lol

  • I so get you… seriously I do! I swear I have had the exact same time out conversations with her – exactly!!!

    I hear this toughness, independence and strong personality will pay off…. LOL! We'll have to compare notes in about 20 years ๐Ÿ™‚

  • You handle things so much better than I would! Just tonight in the car, Levi had been screaming to the top of his lungs for about 20 solid minutes over absolutely nothing…screaming and crying “MOMA, MOMA, MOMA….I want down, I want out, hold me, MOMMMMMMMA!” and I just lost it and started screaming “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!” as loud and as long as I could…hoping he would be startled and stop, but he didn't. He just got louder. And now my throat hurts. I feel like such a horrible mommy when I lose my patience like that! I apologized to Maggie (and Levi) who were both in the car with me and told them I wasn't setting a very good example of how a Mommy should behave and that I was asking God to forgive me for not being a patient Mommy and to please help me to keep a calm voice! Maggie said in a really sweet voice…”That's ok Mommy” and I wanted to bawl my eyes out! I want so much to keep calm 100% of the time, but I definitely struggle with it! Fit throwing is so hard to handle! (I guess I want to throw a fit too!) lol

    Anyway, I can totally relate to your little episode…except for you remaining patient and all! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • hey! too late for me! i yelled a LOT! probably why tiffany learned not to yell! i think i would try to keep my patience for just so long. then, i felt that after several verbal warnings that they deserved for me to yell at them! not very healthy but it is how my parents handled me, never knew it could be so damaging!

  • Are you sure we don't share a daughter? I swear, I have been dealing with this FOREVER with Lexi. And the bargaining? That drives me INSANE!!

    A couple of weeks ago, I realized that MY reaction to her made everything even worse. I changed the way I acted towards her (I was usually very short/snippy with her because my patience runs thin with her behavior) and low and behold we had 8 days where she was darned near perfect with her behavior. The last 4 or 5 days, I've been under a lot of stress and have noticed her bad behavior returning…and realized that my shortness/snippiness had returned. We ended up in a HUGE knock down drag out fight (not literally) and in my anger I told her she couldn't go to the fair the following day. The following 2 HOURS was not fun or pretty. I handled it badly and she reacted even worse. It ranked in the top 10 worst days ever for me.

    Anyway, I kind of got off topic but I can COMPLETELY relate!!

  • Elliette her cousin is SO similar, I recently called mom because I felt like just smacking her with her bicycle helmet (I didn't of course) We have been doing time-outs too, but I was feeling like it wasn't working with her she is SO dramatic and emotional. A friend recommended a book. I JUST finished reading about dealing with our kids. Called Talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk or something like that. I like the ideas, but when you've got a million things going on it isn't very practical solution!

    For example, they say that we spend a lot of time telling our kids not to FEEL their feelings. Child says, “I hate my brother.” You say, “No you don't you love your brother, just think how much he looks up to you, you'll like him a lot more when your older.” What the child hears is blah, blah, blah your wrong about your feelings.

    They suggest saying, “You feel like you hate your brother today.” Then don't ask why just let them get out their feelings and say “uh huh, hmm, I see” Don't try to solve the problem just recognize it… Do you think Brooklyn would respond to something like that? What about the rest of those commenting? Is is too touchy feely!

    How do you think she might respond to you saying “You are so frustrated, you want to open your presents today, but you have to wait, sometimes I hate to wait for things that I am really excited about too!” Then if she continues to ask just keep reflecting back her feelings.. Maybe she would feel less frustrated and diffuse rather than get more emotional… Or maybe not ;)!

    They also suggested giving them what they want in pretend. You would say…”you love to get presents, you want to open them all up today, I wish we could bring a huge truck full of birthday presents and fill this room with presents that you could open whenever you want.” Pick up the phone and pretend to make a call (she will know you are just pretending).

    The final suggestion they had was to acknowledge the problem by saying “You have a problem, you want to open your presents now and I need you to wait.” Then write a list of five possible solutions with her and you contributing ideas, then chose one you can both agree on.

    These ideas do take longer, but I would rather spend the minutes talking than listening to her screaming and worry that she is going to break something. I also truly believe she sits in her room not thinking about what she did wrong, but how much she HATES me. I just don't see it working it for me anymore.

  • Kelly, I've read that book and those things do help. Long story short I just get really tired of spending literally hours a day talking her through everything in her life. It's just about me having a lot of other things to do. I get tired dealing with her all the time, you know?

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