This morning Brooklyn asks me, “Can I open one of my birthday presents early?”
I tell her, “No, we’re already having your birthday celebration a month early, you can wait until tomorrow, we have fun things to do today anyway.”
She starts whining loudly and pouting and throws herself to the ground. She grabs a book near her and rips off a page.
I say, “Brooklyn go in your room for a 6 minute timeout.”
She starts whining about not wanting a timeout and how she ripped out the page on accident.
“Brooklyn, go to your room or it’s going to be longer.”
She screams, “No, I’m not going!”
I tell her, “Your timeout is now 7 minutes and if you don’t get up and go right now it’ll be 8 minutes.”
She s l o w l y walks to her room while screaming and crying.
Once in her room she starts crying/yelling out, “I want my timeout to be 6 minutes!! I want 6 minutes! I want my timeout to be 6 minutes!”
I ignore her because she does this 100% of the time she gets a timeout and responding will just make her fit longer.
She kicks her door.
“Brooklyn your timeout is now 8 minutes for kicking your door.”
She screams “no” and kicks her door again.
“Brooklyn your timeout is now 9 minutes.”
I hear her fall to the floor in her room screaming.
“I want my timeout to be 7 minutes! I want the 7 minute timeout! IF I STOP CRYING WILL IT BE 7 MINUTES?!?!”
She repeats screaming, “IF I STOP CRYING WILL IT BE 7 MINUTES?” over and over until I say,
“Brooklyn your timeout won’t start until you are quiet. If you are screaming it’s going to be 10 minutes.”
She runs out of her room and flops on the living room floor, “NO!!”
I walk towards her and she sprints back to her room and slams the door.
She is quiet for about ten seconds before starting to cry/whine/scream again.
“IF I STOP CRYING WILL MY TIMEOUT BE 7 MINUTES?!” repeat, repeat, repeat.
I again ignore her. After 4 minutes of screaming she finally is quiet.
And that’s where we are right this second on this fine Friday morning.
Because I wouldn’t let her have a birthday present early.
Welcome to my life.