McDonald’s, Dishes, Self Portraits and Poop. Yes, Poop.

Today started with some seriously devoted time to dishes.

It gets pretty darn hot while I do dishes.


The girls were being super whiny while I cleaned, as usual, so I had them color a picture about the Frog Prince story we read yesterday.

Brooklyn’s picture on the left, Sierra’s on the right.

Payson was also whiny while I cleaned so I tossed him a granola bar.

Later in the day we went to McDonald’s. Because… I was getting major cabin fever and it’s still too hot to go to the park.

This one especially likes McDonald’s.

Sierra sure was hungry.

And while we were in the restroom, Sierra tried to overcome her fear of the hand dryer.

She actually turned it on. But bolted immediately after I snapped this.

Are you wondering what the poop part of the post will be? Well, I don’t have pictures of this little story, but I thought it was too extreme to keep to myself.

If you get easily disgusted by poop stories (as I do!) don’t read on.

We went to Kohl’s in search of 18m and 2T sized clothes for Payson. I picked out a few things and made my way to the dressing room to see if they’d fit my little man.

I got him dressed up in the first outfit.
I decided I didn’t like the outfit much and started taking the next outfit off the hanger.

And then I smelled something. Something very, very bad.
I immediately knew it was Payson and that I’d better get things together right away and go change him. I bent down to pull off the outfit he was wearing.

And then it all took a turn for the worse.

Upon removal of the outfit I noticed poop. Poop up his back. Poop down his legs. Poop covering the outfit.
Aren’t blow outs supposed to stop before a year old?

In the seconds it took to remove the outfit I’d somehow became maimed as well. There was poop on my arm. On my shirt, on my hand.
After briefly gagging I went into efficient robot mode.
Do you know that mode?
Where the gag reflex and repulsion and just plain old not wanting to deal get turned off and you are simply a robot trained to clean poop as quickly as possible.

Problem was… I didn’t have wipes in my bag, I didn’t have a diaper, a towel, anything. There was poop everywhere.
What could I do? I panicked a little under the poop-cleaning-robot mode.

I got things cleaned up. And by cleaned up I mean put Payson’s old clothes back on to contain his poop covered back and booked it to the check out counter. I handed the cashier the tag for the outfit, paid and made my way to my car, carrying Payson by his armpits the whole way.

Arriving at my car posed a new challenge. How do you unlock the door when your keys are in your purse and your toddler is covered in poop and you need both hands to carry him, holding him away from your body?

I managed.
I grabbed a sweater I had in the car, thankfully, and wrapped it around him and then set him in his carseat.

There was no way I was changing his diaper right there in the parking lot. He was covered in poop under those layers of cloth and there is really no amount of wipes that could handle that mess.
This is when I noticed the streak of poop in his hair. Fun.

We drove home in a car that caused me to gag. I called Allan on the way to vent and calm myself down.
You see, robot mode is effective but when exiting robot mode I tend to have a meltdown from the built up stress.

I got home and then was faced with the task of bathing Payson. But first I had to wash myself. I put him in the bathtub next to the shower. Took my shirt off and washed my arms and stomach in the sink. Then went and scrubbed down Payson.
I washed all the clothes involved in the accident, twice.
And later I cleaned my tub.

I took a picture of freshly bathed Payson. Dressed him and put him to bed.
And then I sat on the couch and stared into space while the girls watched kid shows for an hour.

Freshly bathed Payson? Check.

Naked, escaping Payson? Check.

Unhappy Payson when mommy puts his diaper on? Check.

And after all that. All that poop craziness.
Here are my self portraits.

This was driving to the store. Before the poop fiasco.

12 thoughts on “McDonald’s, Dishes, Self Portraits and Poop. Yes, Poop.

  • Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE YOUR BLOG!??!?!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Ok, I know I have before. BUT this post tops it! I am not happy that you had to deal with so much poop, but I am SO happy that I have you to know I'm not alone in motherhood! 😉 This was a great little story. A little smelly, even through the computer…but a great story! 😉 Isn't motherhood fun? Never a dull moment huh?

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE these self portraits too!! A gold star for you for doing them! 😉 That shoe shot is SO great too! I love those shoes and that picture is just too cool! I love the composition and the texture of everything in the shot!! You look so beautiful in the one after the shoe shot, your make up is really pretty! and I love the one with the dish soap 😉 I just love them all ok?! Great post. So glad I checked before going to bed! I'm too zonked to post on my blog…booooooo 🙁 but I will try to make up for it later! I edited 100's of wedding images that I am SO behind on…so no time for the fun family stuff. I have been taking pics though 😉

    I hope you have sweet dreams tonight…and nothing about poop! lol 😉

  • I was cracking up reading this post! My baby has had diarrhea all day long too… but thankfully we've been at home today. But now she has this horrible rash. I seriously feel so bad. And it's only been since the afternoon. But in the last 3 hours I have changed her about 10 times. And I can't wipe her either, it's too raw so I stick her in the tub and rinse her off each time! Thank Goodness for bedtime because I am beat!

    And I can't agree more about your self portraits! You're so freakin pretty! I took a picture with my daughter today and all I could see was my fat ugly face! If I could look like you, I'd do a self portrait challenge… instead today's photo of myself has totally hindered that idea.

  • I love that you can be so real on your blog. Showing pics of real, everyday life. The self portraits are great, too. I agree with the previous poster about it being easier to do self-portraits if I looked as good as you, lol.

  • I am hysterically laughing!! I know at the time it was not funny, but I am so glad you decided to post it because this has totally made my day and may be my favorite of your posts!!

    I guess it isn't a stretch to say you had a crappy trip to the store!! HeeHee!

    LOVE, LOVE the self-portrait pics… Absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!

  • What a horrible poop story! I could feel your pain! Just thinking about being in that dressing room and trying to decide what to do with that mess is stressing me out. Bless you!

    Love the shoes!!

    I had to do a double take on the self-portrait of you in the kitchen…I thought you were naked.

  • Oh my gosh! That's quite the poop story. I think moms should get a bonus or something for surviving and dealing with situations like that.
    Way cute shoes.
    I think in the future, I'm just going to comment before I read the other comments. I always feel like everyone has already said everything I was going to say in a much more elaborate way than I could. Most of the time, I feel like there's no point in commemting, so I don't. You have a lot of people who really love you. 🙂

  • I was imagining the horror of that ordeal. How frustrating! I can handle poop stories though, I've shared a few of my own in recent months. By the way, I LOVE your shoes. They are so cute. Where'd you get them, if you don't mind my asking? I love shoes.

  • Wow, what a day!! I've had one of 'those' accidents with my kids, only mine was in the car, just embarking on a 2 hr drive home from the beach. Luckily Hubby was with me & we got some funny looks trying to clean the baby up by the side of the road!!!!

    Hope the rest of your day was better. Love your blog.xx

  • OH my gosh! So funny. And you are right, Robot mode is the perfect way to describe it. The photos of him after the incident are so sweet!

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